Cadence joined Catholic Match in November of 2016. Unbeknownst to her, about the same time she was joining, Christopher was preparing to depart. He’d been on the site off and on for several years and was getting fed up with the whole process. About an hour or so after Cadence set up her profile, Christopher logged on and intended to delete his profile for good.
But then he saw her picture. And then he read her profile, which contained ample evidence of her sense of humor and quirky character.
As he put it,
Just like that, he decided he wouldn’t delete his profile just yet.
After a month of back-and-forth on CatholicMatch, Chris (who is now twenty-seven) asked Cadence (twenty-two) for her phone number. Much as she liked him, though, Cadence was reluctant to do so. You see, Chris lived in Kentucky, and Cadence in Minnesota, and she had set a strict rule that she did not date people she hadn’t met in person.
More seriously, Cadence suffered from a particularly unpleasant strain of Lyme Disease: an illness borne by deer ticks which affects the joints and nervous system. Recently it had taken a turn for the worse, to the point where Cadence wasn’t sure she could even expect to see another year, let alone commit to a long-distance relationship.
Between these two obstacles, Cadence tried to let Chris down gently, suggesting that a romance probably wouldn’t happen between the two of them and that he ought to spend his time with people in his own area. He answered that he knew how he wanted to spend his time and would take the consequences.
It is hard to say no to an answer like that, so Cadence gave in and let him have her phone number, though with the caveat that they would be friends only.
Chris’s reaction was, “Well, it’s not a no!”
By this time, Cadence had grown so sick that she decided she oughtn’t be dating anyone. She was in and out of the hospital every week and so ill that she could barely eat. Yet, Chris never wavered in his attentions, emailing and texting her constantly with encouragement and the promise of prayers. His commitment helped her to hang on to hope as well.
Meanwhile, Chris was planning a way around the “no dating people I haven’t met in person” rule. He wrote to her to ask whether he could come up and see her. She answered, “Well, I don’t know how that would work, since you’re in Kentucky and I’m in Minnesota.”
To this he gave the eminently sensible answer, “Easy. I get in my car and drive to Minnesota to see you.”
Again, it’s hard to argue with logic like that.
So it was that in March 2017, after about four months of long-distance contact, Chris made the seven hundred mile trip north to meet Cadence.
They went to church and spent the day together. At the end of it, he pointed out that they had met in person, which meant her rule no longer applied. By this time she really wanted to say yes, but still she hesitated. It seemed a disservice to him to allow him to take on all the pain and difficulty that her condition involved.
When he asked her again on their last day together, she once again tried to warn him off, as she didn’t think she’d ever get better. But once again he made it clear to her that he understood that and wasn’t afraid of the challenge. And, at last, she gave in.
So began their long-distance dating relationship. Every month Chris made the ten-hour trip to Minnesota to see her, and every time Cadence became more and more impressed by his treatment, not only of her, but of everyone around him. For his part, he was always seeking ways to serve her and help reduce the burden of her illness, even just a little bit.
During one of these visits, Cadence found herself thinking,
Once she realized that, there was no going back.
In November 2017, one year after they met online, Chris made the monumental decision to leave the sundrenched hills of Kentucky for the frozen lakes of Minnesota. He knew full well what he was doing, and that he was committing to more than just a new home and job. As he told Cadence, “I don’t move seven hundred miles for a casual girlfriend.”
He was shopping for rings in December, and when the ring arrived in the mail—silver with three sapphires representing the trio of man, woman, and God that goes into any marriage—he couldn’t wait to propose.
He took Cadence out to dinner, then prayed to the Holy Spirit for inspiration of how to carry his purpose. He received the answer “take her to the church you visited the first day you met: duh!” A short time later, in the Divine Mercy chapel, he proposed.
Cadence was almost too surprised to articulate her ‘yes.’
Their relationship, though fraught with challenges before it even began, has given each the chance to see and appreciate the full range of the other’s character. Whatever challenges lie ahead for them (and they plan to marry this coming January), they have already determined to meet them together.
Chris told Cadence early on that he was willing to face whatever came, and as he put it, “A man is only as good as his word.”
"Cadence is an absolutely amazing person—she’s the best person I know," he said by way of explaining what drove him to pursue her through so many obstacles. "She bears her cross in a patient manner, never complaining, always serving others and seeking ways to give. She’s an absolute inspiration and motivates me to be the best version of myself that I can be."
For her part, reflecting on the relationship, Cadence remarked that if she hadn’t been so sick, she probably never would have tried online dating and, consequently, have never met Chris. From this she concluded, “He is worth every minute I’ve spent in pain!”
What else needs to be said?
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