God Can't Steer a Parked Car
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Years back, I was struggling with an important decision. How important was it? Well, I can’t even remember the particular situation now, if that tells you anything. But at the time, it felt like a lot was at stake. I didn’t want to make a poor choice and mess up my life.
I was at a standstill.
To help make my decision, I sought the advice of a mentor.
I shared my struggle with Ken, an elderly mentor of mine. Ken was funny, kind, and oozing with homespun wisdom. When I unloaded my indecisive angst on him, Ken looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said, “Just remember: God can’t steer a parked car.”
Whatever situation I was going through eventually resolved itself, but that maxim has always stuck with me. Just make a move. God can’t steer a parked car.
I know a woman who would like to adopt a dog, but she keeps waiting for God to tell her it’s okay. She’s terrified of making a wrong decision and being outside of God’s will. But I have to wonder: Is God really going to be upset if she just goes ahead and buys a puppy?
If pets provide companionship, and if it’s good for us to care for animals, then do we really need God’s explicit confirmation, assuming we have the means to be a responsible pet owner? Why not go ahead and just get a dog? I believe God gives us a lot more freedom than we sometimes permit ourselves.
I recently had an idea for a new book I’d like to write about the annulment process. I began to ask myself, “Does the world really need another book? Would it just be a waste of my time? Does God want me to do it?”
But then it struck me…If sharing my experience about my annulment process could be helpful to someone, why not just write the book? Is God going to be upset if I do? If I have something positive to contribute, then I might as well. So I decided to stop agonizing over whether I should, and I simply started writing the book. God can’t steer a parked car.
It’s true there is a time to wait on the Lord. But we can't coast forever.
It’s wise to listen and be patient, to weigh your options, and discern the best course of action before making a move.
My uncle Jim recently lost his wife of three decades. I asked how he was coping. Jim, a former fighter pilot, shared this analogy: “When you plane gets hit with a missile and the cockpit is filling with smoke, the first order of business is to always maintain aircraft control. Before you look for a place to land, assess your situation and just keep flying until you identify a safe landing spot.” During this season in his life, Jim is just maintaining aircraft control. And that’s good. It’s what he needs to do.
Sometimes we find ourselves in life situations where it’s best to simply maintain aircraft control. But even fighter pilots know we can’t coast on autopilot forever. Eventually, we have to make another move if we want to keep on living.
As long as we aren't pursuing a sinful relationship, we can date whomever we please.
The same goes for our dating lives. Should I ask this person on a date? What if I make a bad choice? What if I end up unhappy?
Again, it’s wise to weigh all your options and possible outcomes. But it’s also wise to remember that we don’t always have a way of knowing what will happen. We do know God doesn’t want us unequally yoked or in a sinful or abusive relationship. But outside that, I believe we have freedom.
As Saint Augustine said, “Love and do what you will.”
Is there someone you’re attracted to and you would like to see where it goes, but you’re still not 100 percent certain? You can sit there in a parked car… but then you’re guaranteed that it will never go anywhere.
Why not shift the car into drive and see what happens? Don’t be reckless. You don’t have to go from zero to 60 miles per hour right away. But you’ll never know if you don’t try.
Using reason and wisdom, and guided by prayer and charity, go ahead and and move forward.
Maybe that relationship will work out. Maybe it won’t. But just as there’s always a chance you might crash, there’s also the chance you might find something great.
God always wants what’s best for you. So if you’re genuinely seeking His will and submitting your life and relationships to Him, you can trust that He’ll guide you in the way that’s best for you. But He can’t do it if you don’t step out on faith. God can’t steer a parked car.
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