Stressed out about dating? Don't avoid it just because it takes you out of your comfort zone.
Our Lord talks about you in the Parable of the Talents. That's the one about how the Master gave one guy five talents, a second guy two talents, and a third guy one talent. So the story begins.
Stop. Stop right there!
Let's apply this parable to dating.
Why do the first two guys get this huge advantage over the third guy? I mean, it would be different if everybody got one talent and things were even. But to hand so many advantages to the first two guys right smack in front of the third guy? How the heck is he supposed to compete with that?
We already know how the story ends for the first two guys. They invest their talents and end up with double. In the dating world this would mean that they both end up with the wife and family of their dreams. What about guy number three?
What will he do? Will he focus on the talents he did not get? Will he play it safe and stay in his comfort zone? Will he bury his one talent in the ground? I sure hope not. Because according to Our Lord, one talent, just one, is enough to succeed. Investing just one talent, would gain more talents.
One talent is enough. Because one can become so much more. One is enough.
Let's say guy number three is plain looking and he's not exactly built like a Greek god. Due to leaky gut, he lives almost entirely on sweet potatoes. His family of origin is a little messed up. He went to a no-name school and has a mediocre job that just pays the bills. And on rainy days, he burns.
BUT, he's got a great sense of humor.
I don't mean that he makes wisecracks or witty jabs or makes fun of other people. I mean that he can laugh at himself. He doesn't laugh at himself in a bitter way but in a way that shows he accepts himself and likes himself. He holds his head up with confidence, that is, with faith, because he knows that God made him the way he is and loves him that way.
His one talent is his positive outlook. It keeps him from wasting his energy being angry about the talents he did not get. It keeps him from comparing himself to his two hunky neighbors. It allows him to see that really, most guys in the world are more like him than like those first two guys. Most of all, his positive attitude makes him attractive to women. Yes, it does. Take it from a woman
You don't need every good quality to find a good spouse. Just one good quality!
My women friends and I have often said that a plain looking or even ugly guy who has a great personality, is attractive. A woman likes a guy with a positive attitude. He may not be good looking but he becomes good looking—to her.
It is true in dating and it is true in other areas of life. When you invest your one talent wisely, it yields more talents. For example, I once met a guy who worked at the richest bank in Paris. He was the quietest, nicest, plainest guy I had ever met. I asked him how he got a job in the fast lane. He said that years ago he had been one of a group of interns. It was an incredibly intimidating job for a humble guy like himself, but he focused on doing his best. At the end of the internship, everyone was let go, and he was retained and promoted.
What will you do with what the Lord has given you?
That story has a happy ending. The parable of the talents has a sad ending for the third guy. He had just one amazing gift but he refused to use it because it was too stressful. Stressful? Yup! Using a talent makes you vulnerable. It takes you out of your comfort zone. As a fellow worrier, I sympathize.
Our Lord does not.
In the parable, guy number three gets into trouble—big trouble—with the Lord. Our Lord takes the talent away and throws him out like a bum! At first glance this seems so unfair but the meaning of the parable is that one talent is all you need! Invest it. You could end up with double or triple or more!
So if you are guy number three—or at least think you are (be you man or woman), Our Lord is telling you to go for it. Go for it in dating and go for it in other areas of life. Realize that the first two guys invested their talents or they would have lost them. Invest your one talent. No excuses. Our Lord expects great things.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
