Striking a Balance Between Yourself and God’s Timing

Actively participating in the dating world requires a lot of vulnerability.

The time you spend talking with different people, the emotional investment you put forward, the mental game of repeatedly taking a chance...it all requires you to step out of your comfort zone and into the risky balance of rejection vs. acceptance. And while you are doing all of this, there is also the voice in your head asking how God’s timing fits into all of this.

“Am I forcing something to happen that really isn’t in God’s plan?” “Am I not doing enough to let the Lord work through this relationship to make it work?” “If it’s in God’s plan, don’t I just have to kind of let it happen to me?” “How much do I have to do to work with God… but not interfere with Him?”

I believe a balance is possible between the two.

The big nuance to this all, is that the Lord gifted us with free will. And in that, we have the freedom to make our own choices and go down our own paths. He is not a controlling, manipulative God. He allows us to make decisions freely. However, He also isn’t going to let us miss out on our own future!

So how do we strike a balance between putting ourselves out there and trusting in God’s timing?

First… make yourself approachable.

One big thing men—and women—often skip over in public situations is allowing themselves to be approachable. If you are standing off in the corner, surrounded by a tight circle of friends, the likelihood of someone new coming up to you and introducing themselves is low. If you are adamantly against socializing and meeting new people, the likelihood of you meeting someone new… is low.

You have to be open to having opportunities of new relationships come your way in order for them to come your way! And that could be through a friend of a friend, someone in one of your classes, or the person behind you in the coffee line. You have no idea! And that’s okay—being approachable isn’t knowing exactly when you are going to meet someone new. It’s simply being open to the possibility. 

I’ve also found success in pursuing relationships from square one: as friends.

Not beginning a relationship hoping that it turns into something serious and long lasting right away, but wanting to become friends with this person first and foremost. Why? Because either way—whether it works out into a romantic relationship or not—you need the friendship foundation.

It is entirely necessary to be friends with your significant other. And when you begin from square one with intentionality, you can let the relationship build over time (through your own sharing of time and experiences AND the Lord’s plan), and it will grow if it’s meant to! Best case scenario, you have a solid foundation when you two enter into a romantic relationship, and worse case scenario, you remain friends.

Finding a balance between your will and God’s will also includes being honest with yourself, especially in prayer.

There are so many conversations we have in our head about what’s going on in our lives that we should be having with the Father too. Conversations about what you want in this time in your life, if something isn’t working out as much as you want it to, if there are red flags in a relationship you don’t want to be there but are.

We ruminate over them in our minds without ever telling the Father about them—the one person who can give us the peace we need, the clarity we desire, the guidance we could use through it all. When we say things out loud, when we acknowledge them head on, they have less control over us, and there’s less propensity in it turning into the classic over-thinking storm night after night.

These things, of course, take time to balance out well. And maybe we don’t all the time, and that’s okay. We have a faith full of repeated forgiveness and listening ears of the Father, who never tires of sharing in our hearts. But we ought not to worry about getting “in the way” of His Will or His timeline, or not doing enough in putting ourselves out there, if these things are at the forefront of our minds. The Lord’s timing is perfect, even when we aren’t.