How to Know If You Should (Or Shouldn't!) Get Back Together With Your Ex

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Breakups are tough. It can be tempting to try and end that suffering by getting back together.

Sometimes, getting back together is a good thing! Other times, the breakup was really meant to be. In this article, we’ll look at the different factors that can influence whether or not you should get back together.

Reasons for the Breakup

The reason you ended the relationship in the first place can play a significant role in whether or not you should get back together.

If you broke up for a major reason, like cheating or abuse, reconciliation can be impossible and imprudent. But even smaller reasons can be difficult obstacles. Minor disagreements could lead to anxiety in the future if you or your partner do not feel secure in the relationship.

On the other hand, if the breakup was caused by a misunderstanding or miscommunication that has since been cleared up, you could definitely consider getting back together if both you and your partner want to.

Length of Time Since the Breakup

The length of time since the breakup should also impact your decision. Depending on the situation, the length of time can help, or it can hurt. For example, if your partner betrayed your trust, and, over the past few years, has made amends for the offense and proven that they've changed, it might be a good time to get back together.

A short period after the breakup, like a few days or weeks, might be too soon to get back together. For others, it might work out. In instances where a misunderstanding or spontaneous decision resulted in the breakup, a few days might be all the time you need to realize you never wanted to break up in the first place.

Keep in mind that breakups do cause wounds that will need to be healed. Trust and security in a relationship take a long time to build and a longer time to rebuild.

Mutual Desire

For a successful reconciliation, both people must have a mutual desire to reconnect. If only one person wants to get back together, then it's unlikely that the relationship will be successful. It's important to have an open and honest conversation about your feelings and desires for the future of the relationship.

If you don’t want to get back together with them, don’t do it. Don’t get back into the relationship out of a sense of guilt or obligation or desire to feel less lonely. If it was a good call, stick with it.

Changes in the Relationship Dynamics

The dynamics of the relationship must also change to be successful. This means addressing the issues that led to the breakup in the first place and making a plan to avoid them in the future. For instance, if one person didn’t feel loved, the other person needs to take steps to help the other person feel loved. If one person didn’t feel listened to, the other needs to work on being a better listener.

Both parties must be willing to work on their own personal growth outside of the relationship; especially in areas of communication, trust, and forgiveness.

Timing and Circumstances

Timing and circumstances can also play a significant role in the success of rekindling a relationship. For example, if the other person is dating someone else now, it is not a good time to try and get back together with them.

On the other hand, circumstances may line up perfectly to reach out to your ex. If the timing is right due to factors such as distance, work, or family commitments, then it may be the right time to try and reconcile. If you broke up because of distance but now have plans to live closer, then give it another chance! If you broke up because of work or family obligations that are no longer an issue, it might be a good time to consider getting back together.

Emotional and Mental Well-Being

Both parties also must consider their emotional and mental well-being before trying to get back together. If the relationship was toxic or abusive, then it is important to look at the situation objectively and avoid putting yourself in a dangerous or miserable position. Additionally, if either party has struggled with mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, then prioritize personal growth and healing before considering reconciliation.

You also have to consider your current mental state when making decisions. It is generally a bad idea to make a big life decision if you are in despair over your current circumstances or even if you are extremely overjoyed. This decision requires you to be calm and rational. Don't rush back into the relationship until you've taken stock of your emotions through prayer and contemplation.

To conclude, getting back together with your ex after a breakup is a complex and personal decision. The reasons for the breakup, length of time that has passed, mutual desire to reconcile, changes in the relationship dynamics, timing, and mental well-being are all factors that can impact your chances of success.

It's important to take this to prayer, have an open and honest conversation about your feelings and desires, and to prioritize personal growth and healing. While it may be possible to reconcile with your ex, you should approach the decision with caution and prioritize your own well-being.