7 Ways To Attract A Protective Man
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Nate Rudquist recently wrote about what men being protectors looks like these days. Let’s explore this same topic from a female perspective!
Why do you want a protective man in a relationship or marriage?
If you want to explore further the great truths of gender differences, click here. Today, I am merely pointing out how every single woman I have ever met is attracted to a strong, protective man. (Even the self-proclaimed feminists who “don’t need no man!”) We want to date and marry these men for a few basic reasons.
First, women are made differently, and there are lots of things men can do that we can’t—and vice versa. Second, marriage for women creates a lot of vulnerability. Sex, pregnancy, childbirth, and mothering takes a big toll on our physical bodies and demands a huge amount of mental energy. A protective husband will be able to keep us and our little ones safe and sound during the seasons of marriage. Finally, women cannot deny our God-given natures, no matter how hard we try! We are attracted to masculine, protective men out of our very design—just as men are attracted to feminine women.
How do you recognize a protective man early in the dating scene?
In order to date a protective man, we have to be able to recognize him. Let’s go over four very basic pillars you can look for to see if your date is a protective man:
- Physical health. (Do they keep themselves in a decent state of health, or let themselves go to the point of being no threat to anyone? A man who can’t take care of himself can’t take care of others.)
- Knowledge of their unique masculine role. (Do they recognize natural differences between genders? Understand why women and children need protection? Are they aware of surroundings and prepared to act if needed?)
- Belief systems and practices. (Does he attend Mass? Practice chastity and leadership skills? Challenge himself to continue growing?)
- Treatment of others, especially women. (Does he practice chivalry to all women, or only those of romantic interest? How does he talk about and treat his mom, sisters, grandmother, strangers? This will tell you loads about how he is capable of treating you.)
How can you, as a woman, attract a protective man?
Now that we’ve gone over some of the basics of what a protective man is and why we as women want one, let’s get to our own role. What are protective men attracted to in a woman? Every man is different, of course, but the strong and protective types we generally look for have a few things in common. Most are looking for a complement to their masculinity, as well as a woman who is on the same page when it comes to values and lifestyles.
1. Embrace natural gender differences.
Men and women are made differently, and that’s a wonderful thing! One of the easiest ways to signal to protective men that you appreciate gender differences is in how you present yourself: check out this post to learn more on why appearances matter so much in dating.
2. Reject modern post-feminism and radical gender ideology.
Politics matter a lot when they cross ethical and religious lines, so do your research and find out where you and your faith stands. This is a natural extension of embracing and appreciating gender differences. We need to stand up for our Catholic beliefs, and doing so has the added perk of signaling to like-minded men that we appreciate masculinity for what it is and should be, instead of blaming it for all societal problems.
3. Acknowledge men as the physically stronger sex.
Protective men REALLY appreciate women who accept this simple biological fact. When you see a man do something you couldn’t, make a comment! Anything from opening a pickle jar, to digging a car out of a snowbank, to lifting weights can all be a moment for you to appreciate his masculine nature. This will be, to him, equivalent to how you feel when a man tells you you’re beautiful.
4. Use online dating to your advantage.
Use your CatholicMatch profile to send up a signal flare to protective men! Phrases like “I appreciate traditional gender roles” or “I like old-fashioned men” will clue them into your romantic expectations. “I’m a total cliche: I am a sucker for a man in uniform ;p” or “I love a man who puts safety first—so show up to our first date with a life vest!” are lighthearted ways to signal your appreciation for masculine qualities. You can also think outside the box and pick photos or quiz questions that showcase what you value, too. (Hint: check out #7, and see if you can put this type of photo on your profile!)
5. Be safety-minded yourself.
A protective man wants to keep the vulnerable safe, not chase after a ditzy damsel in distress all the time! There is no reason to put yourself in any type of danger in order to “test” his protective nature. Protective men generally like to be aware of their surroundings and prepared to take action if something goes awry. They appreciate women who not only understand their own vulnerability but who value themselves enough to be safe, too. He won’t always be at your side to handle danger, after all.
6. Accept help from men.
Whether you desperately need it, or whether it’s a simple offer to make your life a little easier, give men the chance to take the lead! I have seen countless women carrying heavy boxes or doing hard manual labor. But when a kind man offers to take over, they usually say “No, I’m fine!” They totally brush off the chance to encourage his chivalry and kindness. So if he offers to carry something for you, bring the car to the door, or pay for your meal, graciously accept with a simple “thank you, that would be lovely.”
7. Showcase your maternal instinct.
Bear with me here, this one’s a bit of a stretch. Men want to protect others—in dating and marriage, this looks like their girlfriends, wives . . . and eventually children. Protective men make great fathers, and naturally, they are looking for women who would make good mothers, too. How can you, in your individual life, nurture your maternal instincts? Check out this post for some ideas on how to get started.
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