Why We Got Married INSIDE the Catholic Church

This past year has been full of unexpected wedding venues.

I’ve seen weddings take place in backyards, open fields, beachside, forest openings, in the middle of desert roads, and in the middle of deserts, period. With travel and interaction restrictions, people have been challenged to get married under unique circumstances no one saw coming, and from what I’ve seen on social media, people have (metaphorically) showed up to meet the new “rules.”

I remember when planning our wedding, how many venues we considered in our small little town of Flagstaff, Arizona. (hint: all of three) They were places you could both say your vows and party in the name of love afterward, and I remember always specifying we were just looking for a reception venue. It was a thrilling way to cut rental cost! At the time, I thought I had a solid grasp on why we were getting married within a Catholic Church and celebrating elsewhere: because we were Catholic! And Catholic marriages are sealed with the Mass. 

We were both new converts to the faith as well, and so eager to participate in such a holy and romantic sacrament. But it’s more than just embedding your vows within the Mass. It’s more than simply being within a Church because that is where Mass takes place, too. 

There is a real, powerful, and transformative grace in being within the presence of the Eucharist.

And it affects our souls. It’s how we become saints—remaining so close to Christ. I know that could perhaps sound dramatic or overstated, but it’s the truth. Simply being within the presence of the Eucharist changes people forever, within their soul, and how they live their life as a result. 

When you dedicate your life to your spouse, when you vow to be their partner for the rest of your days on Earth, you are making a promise that is going to require grace to keep. There are many people every day who vow to their spouses they will never leave them, and then end up breaking that promise. And valid separation reasons aside, a majority these days simply lost sight of that promise.

The Lord knows about our concupiscence.

He knows that hard times will come and that we will struggle and fall and do wrong and need to apologize to one another. He knows that two imperfect people are coming before Him to do their best to be perfect for the other as He commands us to be (Matthew 5:48). 

And that is why He gives us the grace: because He knows we need it; because He has it and wants to give it to us; and because He set this vocation on our hearts as a part of our journey to sanctification. 

The Catechism goes into it beautifully:

“In the Latin Rite the celebration of marriage between two Catholic faithful normally takes place during Holy Mass, because of the connection of all the sacraments with the Paschal mystery of Christ. In the Eucharist the memorial of the New Covenant is realized, the New Covenant in which Christ has united himself for ever to the Church, his beloved bride for whom he gave himself up. It is therefore fitting that the spouses should seal their consent to give themselves to each other through the offering of their own lives by uniting it to the offering of Christ for his Church made present in the Eucharistic sacrifice, and by receiving the Eucharist so that, communicating in the same Body and the same Blood of Christ, they may form but "one body" in Christ.” (CCC 1621)

His grace is so deeply infused within His Bride.

It is so deeply infused within His sacraments. And that is why we make our vows within His House. Because in accepting the vocation He has set on our hearts, we take His grace too. 

So it might seem like a drag to choose the inside of an old church instead of the scenic edge of a cliff or the beautiful open space of Joshua Park, but in choosing all that comes with a sacramental marriage, in choosing to get married inside of a Catholic Church, you are solidifying your promises within the grace that the Lord gifted for us to take, the way He intended for us to take it. Within the grace that we need, always and forever, to be the best we can be, as saints-in-training ourselves and in leading our spouses to sainthood, too. What more could you want, when you look at it like that?