What Catholic Singles Should Be Focused On During Advent

Advent is a time of anticipation.

During this part of the liturgical year, we place ourselves in the shoes of ancient Israel, waiting for her redeemer: “The Lord will arise upon you, and his glory will be seen upon you. You shall no more be termed ‘Desolate’; but you shall be called ‘My Delight Is in Her’, and your land ‘Married’. And as the Bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.”

We anticipate the commemoration of the Messiah’s first coming, but we also look towards His second coming prophesied by John the Apostle: “Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude: ‘Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and exult and give Him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready.’”

Note the use of marital imagery in these passages. The Holy Spirit, speaking through the inspired writers, compares both the Old Israel (the Jewish people) and the New Israel (the followers of Christ, both Jews, and Gentiles) to a bride awaiting her bridegroom.

That bridegroom is Christ.

Advent, then, is a time to reflect on the spousal relationship between Christ and His Church, and between Christ and each member of His Church. It is a time for those of us who are single to ask ourselves: am I as eager for Christ’s final coming as I am for my future wedding day?

Now, chances are that if you’re a single person called to marriage, you’re yearning for that a bit more intensely than you are for the Second Coming. This is normal. The desire for human marriage is natural, and as such, it is strong. The desire for Christ’s Second Coming is a supernatural one, and requires much more intentional cultivation than natural desires do.

We shouldn’t torture ourselves with scruples if we find ourselves more emotionally excited by the prospect of sacramental marriage than by the Lamb’s Wedding Feast; however, we should use Advent as a time to cultivate our desire for the day we meet Christ. For instance, we can take time during Advent for daily reflections related to this.

A few ideas to help you with your Advent reflections:

Think of how much more perfect a spouse Christ is than any mere human can ever be. God willing, you will find a good spouse with whom you will lead a happy life. But they will not be perfect. They will sin against you from time to time, and when all is said and done, they will not make you perfectly happy.

Fulton Sheen once pointed out that the reason many marriages fail is because the spouses expect from each other the perfect happiness that only God gives. If then, you have such a strong desire to be with someone who will not make you as happy as God will, how much more should you desire to be with God in the New Jerusalem!

Think also of the fact that every good thing you have experienced in life has come from God. Your very existence comes from God. Every innocent laugh, every sinless hobby, every good friend, and every beloved family member you have ever had was a gift from God. When you meet your future spouse, you will meet someone who has probably prayed and sacrificed for you, though they did not yet know you.

But they will never have prayed for you as Christ did in Gethsemane, nor suffered for you as Christ did on the cross. They will not have given you every good thing you have. How much more, then, should you look forward to Christ’s Second Coming, when you will meet the God who gave you everything…even His life!

Don't lose sight of the end goal.

Finally, remember that sacramental marriage is a good and beautiful thing, but it exists as a means to attain heaven. It may “feel like heaven” at times, but it will never actually be heaven.

Imagine yourself on a journey to a magnificent palace where you will dine at the greatest banquet ever given. The journey is long, so on the way you stop at a luxury hotel. The hotel is beautiful, but not as beautiful as the palace. The hotel’s food is excellent, but it does not compare to the banquet you will be attending.

You can enjoy your time at the luxury hotel. Early on in your journey to the palace, before you reach the hotel, you may even be excited at the thought of staying at the hotel. But, when all is said and done, the hotel exists to give you rest and refreshment so that you can get to the palace. The hotel isn’t the end goal. It’s there to help you reach the end goal. Marriage is the same.

So continue to be excited by the prospect of marriage, but seek a deeper desire for the end goal: union with Christ in the New Jerusalem.