The Two Prayers That Single Catholics Should Know

I know what it's like to feel stuck.

As a single Catholic in her mid-thirties, it can feel frustrating sometimes that my life has not gone as I imagined for marriage and a family. While those are the desires of my heart, and I believe I will remarry someday, it still has not yet happened for me.

Today I wanted to offer you two prayers I find a lot of comfort in as a single Catholic, and give you some background on why I think they can be encouraging and helpful.

The first prayer, the prayer of abandonment.

It was fresh after a break-up about two years ago, the first serious relationship after my divorce and annulment. After a heart-to-heart chat with one of my best friends (who happens to be a priest), he offered me a prayer to pray on my drive to work.

It goes like this: “Father, I abandon myself into you hands; do with me as you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you: I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures—I wish no more than this, O Lord. Into your hands I commend my soul: I offer it to you with all the love of my heart, for I love you Lord, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands without reserve, and with boundless confidence, for you are my Father. Amen.”

Begrudgingly, I prayed it on the drive to work. Fr. Jake told me, “You need to get out of Jesus’ way. Give him your desires and abandon them into the hands of Jesus, knowing He has only the best for you in mind.”

Several years later, I still pray this on my short drive to work each morning.

Why this prayer for single Catholics?

Because we have to surrender and abandon things outside of our control to Jesus, like dating (or lack thereof), and our desires for marriage. Yes, God needs our active participation, but there is only so much we can do. My own spiritual director has to gently remind me that some of the rhythm of meeting the right person is a mystery. I cannot make something happen.

Abandonment is saying to Jesus, “Lord, you know the desires of my heart. You see me fully as I am. I know You have good things for my life. Yet, I can only do so much. Here are my hopes, dreams, and desires. Take them, use them, bless them, and in your will, just bring me your unshakeable peace.”

Some days I am better at this in the disposition of my heart. There are other days I royally screw up and just moan and complain to Jesus asking, “When it will be my turn?”

However, constantly abandoning my desires and myself to Jesus helps me get out of His way and stay close to His perfect will for my life.

The second prayer, Jesus come surprise me.

I do not exactly remember what led me to begin praying this from my heart each day, but I do remember when it started. It was Memorial Day weekend, several months after the above story on the prayer of abandonment.

I was driving to meet a girlfriend for lunch, and just started talking aloud in the car to Jesus about where life found me. I just began asking Jesus to come and surprise me in every area of my life: my vocation, in dating, my creative pursuits and passions, and in my job. It felt hopeful and freeing; like I was talking to Jesus with wide, open hands ready to see what He had in store for me.

Why this prayer for single Catholics?

Because sometimes when it comes to dating and relationships, we can have a very detailed idea of what we want and need. I am not saying don't have your standards and principles, but ask Jesus to come surprise you in ways you did not expect when it comes to the deepest desires of your heart for a lasting love.

Perhaps it sounds a bit simplistic to you. However, for me, asking Jesus to come surprise helps me to live my life with more openness to the unknown. It reminds me to trust in the slow work of God. It reminds me to be open and show up to live my life. It reminds me to keep putting myself out there in the dating world, be brave, and trust myself in what I need and how I conduct myself.

I do not promise or claim these prayers will suddenly change your relationship status.

Heck, I find myself single again. However, what I can tell you is that praying these two prayers is helping change the disposition of my heart.

My life is not curated the way I desire or want, but I do know God is working and moving behind the scenes of my life, which I cannot fully understand.

I am praying these prayers and showing up to live my best life right now. At the end of the day, timing and everything else is in the hands of Jesus.

Jesus come and surprise all of us!

Teach us greater abandonment in Your perfect will for each of our lives.