A Letter to Catholic Singles During the Holidays

Hi there, friend.

I wish you I knew your first name so that I could ask you how you are genuinely doing. I wish we were having an in-person conversation together, sharing our hearts over some good food or drinks, perhaps tucked away in a cozy corner of a restaurant.

I do not know why you find yourself single right now. Maybe you are slowly dipping your toes in the online dating world after losing your spouse or having your previous marriage declared null and void. Maybe you are trying CatholicMatch because all the blind dates seem to go nowhere or a friend suggested you give it a try. Maybe you know you are called to marriage but are frustrated that you are not finding the right person to share your life with.

Regardless of why life finds you single right now, it is not an easy time to be single around the holidays.

I know being single around this time of year can be most difficult and lonely from time to time. A time filled with such joy and celebration can feel lackluster when you do not have someone to share those moments with. I know I have felt that way since my own divorce, navigating dating again, being in a relationship, and being single again.

Perhaps like me you desire to be married or know your vocation is marriage. Yet for whatever reason the circumstances of life have not led you to find that man or woman with whom you want to spend your life. That can feel equal parts frustrating, lonely, or confusing.

As we approach another holiday season, I want to leave you with some encouragement and hope. I want to speak truth into your heart and mind, even though your feelings may feel a little bit all over the place.

Here is what I know is true about our God. The desire to share your life with someone is a good thing; both on an individual and collective level. God is present in our desires and He will move and act on them for our benefit. It may not be on our timeframe or even the way we want, but the desires of your heart matter to God. He sees them. He understands them.

I do not know why life finds you navigating another holiday season alone.

I do not know why my life has gone so differently than I imagined or why at 35 I have not yet found someone to share my life with. Even when it is hard, lonely or scary, I am choosing to cling to a promise that deep down in my soul I know is true.

Jesus is faithful. Jesus is kind. I am not forgotten by my God. My desires and hopes matter to Him. I can trust in the slow work of God.

I say those words of truth over myself, but I also speak them over you. I challenge you to pray those words over yourself, friend, multiple times a day if you need them. Set timers to go off certain times each day if you find that helpful or encouraging.

Why do I share this with you?

Because when life is hard or does not go the way we imagine or want, we need the promises of Jesus more than ever. While I do not understand certain aspects of my own life story, I do know that our God is who He says He is.

Take heart and be encouraged that in our most lonely and difficult spaces, Jesus comes and is most close. I can look back on my own life and remember how true this is. Perhaps you have the same experience as you reflect back on your own journey so far.

In this upcoming holiday season, ask the Lord what truth you need to speak over yourself.

What truths do you need to be reminded of? What promises of God do you need to lean on right where God has you?

Write them down; speak them aloud each day. Continue to be open, show up to live your one life well. Allow God to surprise you. Make time to be brave and use an online dating platform like CatholicMatch.

The truths of God are what changes hearts; what brings strength and fortitude when the journey of life feels wearisome and difficult. Being single during the holidays can certainly feel that way. Take courage in the Lord and rely on His unchanging promises this season.

Perhaps He has something new to say to you or something new to teach you.

The Lord is near.

Ask Him to speak, reveal, move, and act…and He will.