The Church's Response to the Sexual Assault Conversation

It's probably one of the hardest conversations a person will ever have.

Hey—can we talk? I have to tell you something.

Sure. What's up?

I've been sexually assaulted...

For years, this was a discussion that few women dared to enter. They were afraid to tell anyone about an unwanted sexual advance or assault. But times have definitely changed and women are no longer hiding in fear of what might happen when they share their story. Just think about the number of allegations that have saturated social media and the leading news outlets over the past month.

What's changed? Why are we talking about this so much?

Why the sudden sea change? What straw broke the camel's back and opened the flood gates of heinous encounters that  have been lurking in the shadows for decades? One possible answer is that social media has allowed women to find each other, compare their stories, and bond together. There is power in numbers when it comes to reporting.

Another answer is that the media has been relentless in its reporting. Rarely does a story survive more than a week in the news cycle. Sexual harassment and assault has dominated it for nearly two months.

But the most plausible reason is that so many people have been harmed by the misuse of sexuality that everyone is interested in the topic. There is a personal connection with many of the allegations and that gives each new investigation value and meaning.

I can remember the first time someone called my office ready to begin sharing.

She was middle aged, had been married for nearly 20 years, and was preparing for her daughter's wedding. About a month before the ceremony, she started having panic attacks which she originally attributed to the stress of the wedding planning. But, one night, she awoke with a crystal clear memory of being sexually assaulted as a teen.

There have been numerous calls since then. Most are from women, but men have also called. It saddens me greatly that so many of God's dear children have been marred by the misuse and abuse of the beautiful gift of human sexuality. The thought that more people have been impacted by a twisted idea of God's plan rather than by the beauty of this gift often keeps me awake at night. How depressing that so many youth and adults know more about the perversion of human sexuality than they do about its life sustaining goodness.

Now, more than ever, the Catholic Church has to find her voice and proclaim the truth about sexuality & love, marriage & family, chastity & true freedom. She needs to share the good news from the pulpit, in her writings and certainly in personal conversations. The Church should generously infuse her teachings into homes and schools and religious education by every means available.

Let me identify a few Catholic outlets that have found their voice and are speaking out about God's plan for human love:

• The USCCB's initiative Marriage - Unique for a Reason has a blog series on Love and Responsibility that is totally worth the time it takes to read every entry. Start at the first and move forward to the last.
• The Culture Project is producing short videos with a punch that speak directly to youth and young adults. (The people behind this initiative could easily be compared to those young adults JPII took into the mountains during WWII.)
• The Marriage Reality Movement is a hard working group that wants to reveal the truth about marriage in a way that all people can understand. Though this group comprises people from all faiths, it stays true to the tenets of the Catholic Church.

The Catholic Church is one of the few places that individuals can turn to for the truth about God's plan for human love. Let's do our part to get the message out there. Let's keep the conversations going.