We were standing next to each other waiting to get a glass of wine during the wedding reception.
The song, What's Forever For? by Michael Martin Murphey was playing in the background. Even though we had never met before, I could tell she wanted to say something.
She took my smile as an invitation to say, "Pretty ironic, isn't it? We just watched a couple vow to stay together for the rest of their lives and now we are listening to a song that asks the question,
'If love never lasts forever, tell me what's forever for?'"
I agreed that it is ironic and said that I agreed with the lyrics that said, "Why is good love so hard to come by?" Then added that I prayed hard for the couple during the wedding because staying in love today can be challenging.
When I agreed it can be hard to stay in love today, she started crying.
She nodded in agreement as the flood gates opened behind her beautiful green eyes. Clearly, she had experienced an epic failure at permanent love in her life. Whatever happened to her had left an opened wound on her soul.
I quickly grabbed a cocktail napkin and gave it to her to catch the tears. I offered to listen if she wanted to talk. She attempted a grin and said, "That's alright. I'll be okay." She started to walk away and then turned to say, "When you pray for the couple again, add me to your list. I really need to figure out what good love is."
I gathered my wine, found my way to a quiet table where I sat down and said a quick prayer for this young woman. Dearest Jesus, be present to the woman I just met. Touch her soul in a way that she will know what good love is. Draw her into your love which is good and forever.
Scripture describes the 'good love' that this woman needs in her life. It's patient and kind; it's not self serving; it bears all things and believes in all things; it never fails. And, of the three—faith, hope and love—love is the one that remains. In God's plan, good love is forever.
Why did this woman doubt that love could be forever?
Here's my guess. Her lived reality of godly love was trivial and insignificant, but her experience with culture's cheap imitation was robust. For whatever reason, she was denied the understanding that good love is a decision and not a feeling. It's my hunch no one instilled in her the reality that good love is attained through self-sacrifice, effort and perseverance. Thus, she has been presenting herself as a body to be used rather than a woman deserving of love.
Let me ask a pointed question. What are you doing in your marriage ministry to boldly proclaim the beauty of God's plan for marriage, sexuality, and love to those in your midst who have become doormats for someone's pursuit of pleasure? What are you doing to create a thirst for good love that outweighs the attractiveness of the culture's shallow message?
Ponder this for a while. Take it to prayer. Then, ask yourself if you can find ways to:
Intentionally provide the truth of the Saint Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body to your youth, young adults, and engaged couples.
Individually offer guidance and or resources to those who have an impoverished view of love.
Strategically plan to reinstate parents' confidence in their role as primary educators for their children and establish homes that are schools of virtue.
Christ teaches us that our forever home in heaven is for love. He wants us to share this message with everyone we serve.
