Meet the Woman Who Mastered Online Dating

You gotta see this video.

This is Amy Webb. She's the author of Data, A Love Story: How I Cracked the Online Dating Code to Meet my Match.

It all started when she went through a bad break up at age 30 and found herself five years "behind schedule" on her plan to get married and start a family.

Like you might feel, she also felt "behind schedule," so she turned to online dating.

Her grandmother told her she was too picky and advised her that true love would find her when she least expected it. Amy was picky. She knew the kind of man she wanted to marry and being a math brain she had a pretty good idea of what the odds were of just "bumping into Mr. Right." The odds were lousy but she didn't let that squash her hopes. And she didn't waste time complaining that everybody good was already taken.

She widened her scope and turned to online dating! Yay!

And was soon drowning in a sea of bad dates. Boo!

Still she was undaunted. She didn't blame online dating or her lousy luck or the men who disappointed her—not even the one who stuck her with the restaurant bill that equaled a month's rent! Well, maybe she did blame that one. But the important thing is, she didn't let it stop her!

How could she improve her chances online?

She asked herself what she could do to improve her chances online. How could she get online dating algorithms to match her up with a guy she could be truly interested in...and who would like her back?

She studied the process and adapted herself to it. What? You haven't watched the talk yet? Now would be good. But first: be advised that Amy is not Catholic.

So some of the things she recommends are not okay, such as living with the guy before you marry him. But don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. There are a lot of other valuable tips here that might improve your online dating experience. And as far as those are concerned, you can remind yourself of the old saying that everything that is true is Catholic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wG_sAdP0U

Did you watch it? Then let's discuss.

According to Amy, here's how to optimize success in online dating:

1. Look your best. Amy is on the plain side and she's also on the modest side dress-wise. But she didn't complain about life not being fair or women being shallow or men being only interested in appearances. She figured out how to compete physically with more attractive women who showed more skin.
2. Write a tight profile. Think quality, not quantity. Amy is educated, and educated types tend to expect others to stick out long essays the way they do. But she didn't complain that people are spoiled by videos and can't read these days. She chose her words carefully and packed a lot of info into a small space (97 words).
3. Be approachable. Amy is accomplished and successful. She could easily come across as intimidating. Yet she didn't try to hide her achievements and pretend she was something she was not. She simply balanced her profile with words like "fun and girl and love" to show that it's perfectly possible to be a smart woman and a nice one.

So what do you get out of Amy's TED talk? Was there something that might be useful for dating on this site? Did anything she said surprise you?

I'll admit she surprised me when she said she had not been picky enough. But maybe she's on to something. She stuck to her standards and when she finally did meet Mr. Right, he was way better than she ever dreamed he'd be.