Online Dating Rules You Should Forget

If you are on CatholicMatch, it is likely because you have seen how crazy the dating world can be. It can be hard to find other single people who are Catholic and share your values. So, now you have ventured into the online dating realm, and you have found some challenges in that world, too!

In my time on CatholicMatch and knowing some online dating success stories personally, I have learned some online dating "rules" that we need to start breaking. These are the usual rules that need to be ignored in order to find success on CatholicMatch.

Tradition and leadership are great for men, but are they keeping you from a spouse?

Today’s world needs good men. The world and the Church lack strong, moral leadership. Now is NOT the time to give up on tradition or traditional masculinity.

That being said, are you missing out on a spouse by refusing to tweak tradition a little? In online dating, some men completely disregard a woman who reaches out first. But why? What if you missed her profile and she is a great potential date for you? Are you going to turn down a conversation and maybe a date just because you didn’t initiate? I bet you wouldn’t refuse a smile or an invitation from a woman at Church or anywhere else! Online dating needs a different attitude in order for you to have the most success. 

Can tradition be holding back the women, too?

Traditions are beautiful and important, but sometimes we need to stretch the rules a little bit in the online dating realm.

In real life, you have many options and opportunities to show interest in a guy to let him know it’s ok for him to approach you. Online, the only way to really do that is by messaging him. It's ok to send the first message! Men tend to be nervous about insulting the woman with unwelcome attention if we don't see any encouragement. A short message, or even hitting the “heart” button lets the man know you are interested. After the first message, he can assume the leadership role if you prefer it that way.  

For both men and women...

We need to be open to a greater variety!

For better or worse, when our first introduction to someone is a picture, it is very difficult not to fall into the trap of window shopping. I’m not sure there is a way to fix that outside of adjusting our attitudes. I’ve had first-hand experience of meeting someone who didn’t fit “my type” from their picture, but, when I got to know the person, they were an amazing blessing in my life!

Beauty isn’t (only) about the face; a person’s laugh, passion for life, character, or holiness are all extremely attractive traits. Whether you are a guy or gal, don’t let a picture be the only factor. Give people a chance, and they might just surprise you! 

Be a rebel! 

Not all rules are made to be broken, but some do need a little updating when it comes to the digital space!

Ultimately, we will meet our spouse when God decides the time is right, but the tools he uses to bring us together might be right here!

Let’s make sure that important and age-long traditions are kept while also taking full advantage of our opportunities.Take a risk, embrace some adventure, and let God guide you!