Love Is Not a Meme

The other day, I was scrolling through Facebook and saw a meme.

“A fetus was the first to rejoice at the news of Jesus. Think on that.” According to Luke 1:41, it’s true. Pregnant with Jesus, Mary visited her cousin Elizabeth, who was pregnant with John the Baptist. “When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb.”

As I kept scrolling, I saw an opposing meme: “If men could get pregnant, you could get an abortion at an ATM.” This one’s a little harder to prove. But I’m sure the creators of both memes thought they were making a succint, clever point. Here’s the problem…

A meme, by its nature, is not a dialogue. It’s not even an argument. It’s a one-way message that presumes to shut its readers down, without giving them the chance to respond in a meaningful way.

I can’t help but think that if Jesus was on Earth today, he probably wouldn’t use memes to communicate his message.

He would be too busy actually walking around among people and engaging them personally. We live in the 21st century and social media is a part of our reality. It’s okay to use it, and it can be used for great good. But it obviously has its limitations, and even dangers.

Recently, someone posted a meme about the evil of divorce, and tagged my name in it. I do not know this person but they read an article I wrote and decided to condemn me, or at least to suggest that I’m wrong and evil for having been through a divorce. I would like to assume this person has a genuine concern for my soul and wasn’t just trying to start an online fight. But I have my doubts. If they sincerely cared about my situation, it seems more likely they would ask to have a real conversation with me outside social media. 

Therein lies one of the biggest problems with social media, whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.

It’s easy to post a brief sentence or image that “proves your point” and “puts the other in their place.” But that’s not love. 

My instinct was to respond with my own clever retort. Maybe a meme or a quote that would prove I was right and this person was wrong. But really that would just be me trying to make myself feel smart and superior. It would be disingenuous and lazy. 

The person who tagged me in their anti-divorce meme doesn’t know me. They don’t know the circumstances of my marriage and divorce. I responded to them that if they want to have a genuine conversation, they should send me a private message. They never did.

Whether online or on the street, we have to remember we are always dealing with real people. Sitting comfortably behind our computers makes us forget that, and it puts us at risk of becoming smug and dehumanizing. 

If you genuinely feel like your social media presence can help people, then go for it. But always with discernment, wisdom, and love. I’d rather avoid the memes and just try my best to love people “in real life.”

Every person has a story and it cannot be reduced to 15 words and a clever image.

Genuinely loving someone takes more time, and is much messier than that. All this holds true, as well, for using dating sites like CatholicMatch.

When we create a profile, we attempt to look our best physically in our photos, and to appear witty, fun, wise, and desirable in our personal descriptions. That’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with putting your best foot forward. We all do it, especially when trying to attract a potential mate. 

But ultimately, CatholicMatch is just an online portal that enables us to start a relationship in person. The site can hand us the ball, but we have to run with it. It’s our responsibility to meet a match in person and develop a living, breathing relationship with them.

So, whether in person or on social media, let’s always do our best to act lovingly. And remember what Paul said in Ephesians 4:29-32...

“No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the holy Spirit of God, with which you were sealed for the day of redemption. 

All bitterness, fury, anger, shouting, and reviling must be removed from you, along with all malice. [And] be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ.”