When I was a kid, I had a dream of working in the movies. Friends and teachers would say things like, “Someday, you’re going to make it in Hollywood!” So after graduating college, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue my dream.
After 15 years of working in Hollywood, I came to realize something: you never “make it.”
“Making it” is a myth. Whether you strive to be an all-star athlete, a successful businessperson, or a fulfilled spouse and parent, you never really “get there.”
What would it take for you to feel like you've finally made it?
It’s not that we don’t “make it” in some sense or at certain times in our lives. We all have occasional wins.
After moving from my small hometown in Kentucky to L.A., I strived for almost 10 years to find success in the entertainment industry. I had many failures and false starts, but I also achieved some thrilling successes.
I worked full time as a television writer. I had TV shows and movies produced. I “made it.” And then, after a successful run on several film projects, I didn’t work for several years.
It’s the same with romantic relationships. We believe that one day we’ll “get there.” We’ll find the perfect mate, fall in love, and live happily ever after. But life is not an unbroken spiral upward toward success and happiness. It happens in fits and starts, and this side of Heaven, we never really “arrive.” We never reach the pinnacle and just sit there, perched above all our past struggles to forever enjoy our present bliss.
Life isn't as simple as just "making it," and you're done. There are always curveballs.
It was the same for my love life. After years of dating, I met a beautiful, intelligent woman and we got married. Once again, I’d achieved what I’d always been striving for. We were married for seven years. And then I lost it again. Pressures, circumstances, poor choices, and the vicissitudes of life broke our marriage, and we got divorced.
Now I’m hoping to “make it” again: to meet a good woman, get married, and enjoy a happy life together. But even if I “get there,” I know now that the struggle won’t be over. Because life is not a simple before-and-after photo. Before, I looked like this. Now, I look like THIS! Life goes on, and so must we, navigating its constant challenges and realities. That’s not to say life is not a beautiful and wondrous thing. It’s just not as simple as I’d once thought.
Even if you've "made it" in a relationship, God sometimes has other plans.
I’ve come to believe the idea of “making it” in life is a myth. If we meet someone and get married, we can think we’ve finally made it. Or sometimes, it just feels like all we made was a huge mistake. But that doesn’t mean we quit. Because success, or happiness, is not something that arbitrarily happens to us. It’s the result of God’s good fortune toward us, but it’s also the result of what we choose to do.
Are you unhappy in your marriage? Do all you can to change it. That doesn’t mean your spouse will change, but at least you’ve done all you can do.
Are you unhappy in your career? Make a change, if you can. Look for other opportunities. I’m not saying it will be easy, but God has gifted us with the freedom and ability to command our own destinies and make decisions that can positively impact our lives. If your circumstances don’t permit you such freedom right now, pray about it. You can always pray, and I believe God can always make a way.
Do your best to cooperate with God's plan and He will bring it to completion.
Especially as Christians, we can be confident that if we seek God and strive to do His will, He will perfect things in our life. As Saint Paul says “…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Think about that! God has already begun a good work in us. We have to cooperate with God, doing our best to do His will as we understand it, whatever our situation. If so, we can trust that He will bring it to completion.
So, did I “make it” in Hollywood and in life? Yes, for a time. And then I lost it, and now I’m (always) on my way to “making it” again. Life continues and we'll never fully arrive. That's okay. As long as I strive to be in line with God’s will (loving Him and loving my neighbor as myself), I can rest assured that God will take me through the trials and failures and back to the places of happiness where He wants me to be, whatever that looks like.
Though we’ll never see full perfection in this early life, we can, in cooperation with God, “make it” to where we need to be.
