What If You're Not Having Success With Online Dating?

You've filled out your online dating profile, you've uploaded pictures and even messaged a few people. You look forward to logging back in and checking all the activity ... but there is none.

It can feel very depleting when you have been online for a long time and nothing is happening. But maybe it's time to look at the approach you are taking to online dating.

In today's world, we are used to having things on-demand. We can have a microwavable ready meal in a minute,  we can have a droid deliver something to our doorsteps the same day we ordered it or download a movie instantly. This technology is not a bad thing, but unfortunately we bring that instant-gratification mindset into our dating relationships and forget that human relationships don't work that way.

People are not products

You have the criteria of what you want in a spouse—and that is a good thing! But are you expecting to put the information on your online dating profile and get instant results like you would get from Google or a vending machine? Remember that the profiles you scroll through are not the latest releases from Netflix—they are human beings uniquely made in God's image.

When Catholic singles have a shopping mindset when it comes to dating, potential spouses can be seen as a commodity. Or you may have trouble committing to one relationship because there are so many flavors to try. It is hard to settle on one flavor, because what if there is a better one around the corner?

You're not a product either

On the other hand, you can get into the mentality that you have to market yourself in the perfect way to get any attention online. Use all the online dating tools in the best way you can, but just remember that you are a unique and unrepeatable creation of God. Once you remember that about yourself it will help you to keep that same outlook when we are viewing other profiles. This is an important first step to really getting to know the other person.

Who does God want me to be?

During this entire online dating journey, Catholic singles should continually ask themselves, who does God want me to be? What is God trying to say to the world through me? What are those qualities that I want to be known for that God has placed on my heart? Generosity? Joy? Courage? Bravery?

Surround yourself with people who will bring out these qualities in you. When you develop a dating relationship ask yourself if you are becoming more of who God wants you to be just by being with that person. Does she challenge you? Does he help you to make the honest decision, even when it is hard? Do you desire holiness because of him or her?

When searching for a spouse, look for connections on multiple levels. Sure chemistry is important, but this person should be a friend and someone who takes the time to know all about you.

As long as you are meeting new people you are winning

Okay, so maybe you are already doing this and you are still unsuccessful online. I encourage you to keep your doors open and continue to seek new relationships. As long as you are meeting new people you are winning. You are building up that social network of people that gives you the support of becoming the person that God wants you to be. This will lead you to the call that God wants you to enjoy for a lifetime.