Rejection Doesn't Have to Be a Big Deal

It's a feeling that none of us like to experience in life.

My friend recently applied for a potentially life-changing internship with a major movie studio. He worked for several months creating a flawless storyboard portfolio to submit. Yesterday, he got the news that his application was not accepted. He is deeply disappointed and considering giving up his dream of working in the movies.

I’ve been there. We all have. We want something so badly. We daydream about how the opportunity would change our lives for the better. We work hard to get it. Then, often after months of anxious waiting and prayer, we get the email or call of rejection.

“We regret to inform you…” Our gut sinks. Our hopes are dashed. We’re right back where we started and it feels like there’s nothing good on the horizon, nothing to look forward to. 

Rejection feels awful. The feeling is that something is wrong with us or we are not good enough.

This happens all the time with dating and relationships too.

I remember years ago when I gathered the courage to ask a girl on a date. She said yes. I was elated and made plans for us to have dinner and attend a concert. On the evening of the date, while I was getting ready at home, she called and said she had reconsidered and wasn't interested in going out. My heart sank. I felt like a loser. Maybe no one was ever going to love me.

But here’s the thing…

She wasn’t the only woman on the planet. And my friend’s internship opportunity wasn’t the only job ever available. 

The longer we live, the more it becomes clear that life is a constant series of ups and downs. It includes dashed dreams and amazing unexpected opportunities. 

That girl and I weren’t meant to be together. And my friend, after he recovers from his disappointment, will find other—often better—opportunities on the horizon.

That’s not to be dismissive of the pain we feel in the moment. Feelings of rejection and disappointment are real and it’s okay and natural to feel them. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be human. Sometimes we have to take a few days or weeks or longer to process the pain. After my divorce, it took several years. 

But it’s important to remind ourselves that our failures are not the final word on who we are.

We are God’s beloved children. 

Some people are going to reject us. Some jobs will turn us down. But don’t let that make you believe the lie that you’re fundamentally flawed or unworthy. You’re so worthy that Jesus died for you. And, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). I find it helpful to remind myself of those realities because they are just as real as the rejections that we will inevitably experience.

Also remember that when you don’t get something you hoped for, it’s often God protecting you. My first marriage didn’t work out. It was heartbreaking and devastating. But after my annulment, new opportunities emerged. I met a wonderful woman, learned from my previous mistakes, and moved on. Today, we are happily married. I wanted one vision of life, but got another. And it’s good.

None of us can see the future.

All of us have hopes and aspirations, but in our limited perspective on Earth, we can’t always know if what we want in the moment is what’s best for us. 

God knows. And he encourages us to surrender our desires to him and trust him to lead us in the way that’s best for us. It’s not always easy and we may experience heartache for a season along the way. But Jesus said: “Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for your Father is pleased to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32). And when we seek his kingdom, he will provide everything else that’s best for us.