How to Handle Being Divorced During a Quarantine

Divorce is awful enough. Add to that a global pandemic and a quarantine.

Maybe your ex moved out and now you are trapped in the home you shared with them. How do you handle this kind of situation?

When I got divorced several years ago, I moved out of our apartment into a rented house. I didn’t want all the associations our shared apartment held for me. On that front, I was able to start anew. 

But that was not in a time of quarantine. If the Coronavirus pandemic had hit when my marriage imploded, I might not have been so fortunate. Maybe you are in this situation. Your ex has moved out, but you are stuck in the home you shared together. You brushed your teeth together in the bathroom. You cooked meals for each other in the kitchen. Every room holds a memory. Some good. Some bad. All a haunting reminder of the relationship you’ve lost. 

Or maybe you have already moved into a new place, but now you're by yourself and unable to get out and connect with others.

Enduring a divorce—whether quarantined or not—will never be easy. It takes time, encouragement, and support. But if you’re isolated, it can be especially tough.

If this is you, here are a few thoughts about how you can get through this time:

1. Rearrange your furniture. It sounds simple, but moving stuff around to create a new sense of space can be beneficial. Maybe her bookshelf was always against that wall. Shuffle it to a different spot. Maybe his favorite chair was by the TV. Move it to a new corner. It’s a small change, but it can have psychological benefits.

2. Go through each room in your home and pray in it. Ask that God will redeem the space and help you to start anew. Ask that He will heal your memories and comfort you in the pain associated with the space. Rededicate your home to God.

3. Connect with others through social media. You may not be free to physically visit with groups of friends or family. Instead, take advantage of social media to stay in touch. Talk on the phone. Have virtual meetings with friends via Skype or Zoom so you can see their faces. You may be isolated, but you don’t have to isolate. This is especially important during a divorce.

4. If possible, get out of the house. Maintain the recommended social distance from other people, but say hi to them and exchange a smile. Go for a walk around the block. Enjoy a run or bike ride. This can be a healthy distraction from your loneliness and pain. Some exercise, sunlight, and fresh air can work wonders for you physically and mentally.

5. Use this time to work on your healing. Being stuck inside a familiar space full of painful memories, for days on end, can be depressing. But this seeming curse can also be an unexpected blessing. 

Surviving and recovering from a divorce takes a lot of internal work, including self-searching and prayer.

This may be the perfect time to do it. 

Take advantage of this time to pray and reflect. Write your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Write a letter to your ex to express your anger, pain, and regret. Don’t send the letter. Just do it for yourself and your own emotional health.

Hopefully, some of these activities will be helpful. Don’t get me wrong. You will still feel sad at times. It will still be painful. But that’s normal, and part of the process of any divorce recovery. 

Above all, take your feelings to God in prayer. Read some Bible verses to receive wisdom, encouragement, and hope. 

In the Bible, Joseph’s brothers threw him in a well to die. Later, they came to him and begged his forgiveness. He responded: “Even though you meant harm to me, God meant it for good, to achieve this present end, the survival of many people” (Genesis 50:20). 

God can take what seems like a bad thing, including divorce and a pandemic, and turn it for your good.

Trust Him to do this for you. 

Eventually, this pandemic will be over. So will your divorce. Life will start anew. In the meantime, take encouragement from Saint Paul’s words: “We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).