First Date Tips for Guys
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Guys, you want to make your first date memorable. In a good way.
Not like the time this cute boy I'd noticed all through senior year of high school finally asked me out. Since we were teenagers, we went to this little Mexican place in the center of our universe, the mall. Unfortunately, he had underestimated the prices and we were only able to get salads. We left a little hungry so I was relieved when he pulled up to a Mickey D's drive up window and ordered fries.
One order only.
Right.
Well he was out of cash.
But then he ate them in front of me.
Wrong.
Let this little story go to show that it's perfectly okay with us girls if things go wrong on a first date. You can show up with your pants on backwards, run out of money, get into a fender bender, sneeze multiple times, step on a banana peel, and do all sorts of embarrassing things that perhaps someday you will laugh about together and tell your grandchildren. But you can't, can't, can't eat french fries in front of your hungry date and expect to get a second date.
Now that I've set the bar really high, here are a few more basic things to do or not do on a first date. It is told from the point of view of the woman because that's what I know best. For a male perspective look here.
1. Do be clear that it's a date.
Pining Pam shouldn't have to wonder: Are we on a date or aren't we? Who's paying? Am I being friend zoned? Does he like me? Sometimes it happens that one party thinks it's a casual friendly hang out with remote possibilities—never say never—and the other thinks you are taking a friendship to the next level. Be clear. Say, "Will you go out with me?" Not just, "Hey, how about coffee?" Set a date and time. Say, "It's a date!"
If this gives you jitters, realize that a first date is not a commitment to have a second date. A second date is not a commitment to have a third. And so on. Dates are just occasions to explore whether to take the relationship to the next level.
2. Don't propose yet.
On the other end of the spectrum is Misfire Michael who is in too much of a hurry.
Jim: You don't love Holly.
Michael: I think I do.
Jim: But you just met her.
Michael: Well, it was love at first sight. Actually, it was-no, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.
Jim: Oh, okay, it doesn't work like that.
Michael: This thing with Holly feels a lot like love to me.
Jim: And that's really sweet. And you can think that. But you don't say that out loud, and you definitely don't say it to her.
If she's everything you dreamed of, it is only natural to fall too quickly. But if you spill your guts about how she's finally the one because you haven't dated since prom and that girl didn't like you anyway, you will freak her out. Don't jump straight into proposing or even serious exclusivity.
3. Don't test her.
Who did you vote for? Do you think women should work? Wear pants? Veils in church? What are you views on McCarthyism—then and now? Ugh. A date is not a job interview. You are not hiring a nanny for your future kids. One whiff that this is a test, and you will be the one who fails. Over the course of a normal conversation, she will reveal if you have compatible views and you will know whether you want to get to know her better or move on.
4. Do leave room for spontaneity.
By all means make an effort. That's nice. But don't worry about making things perfect. Perfection can come across as canned. A date wants to see the real you, not an airbrushed version. Believe it or not, she might find your quirks and imperfections charming.
5. Do take the pressure off.
It's become normal these days that if a guy buys a girl dinner she owes him sex. Actually, that's a better deal than most men would get with a call girl. Unfortunately, a lot of girls have fallen for that racket which makes dating way dicier for Catholic girls. In a world where it's a given that sex is the payment for dinner, nice Catholic girls feel a little tense about dating. This is a lot of pressure which a guy date might not even be aware of. An air of "Of course, dinner is just dinner" will put her at ease and make her grateful she is on a date with a guy who respects her.
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