Why I Think Men Should Ask for the First Date

In basically every area of my life, I'm a traditionalist—in my dress, in my profession, in my views of family life, in my musical taste ("Enter Sandman" somehow snuck into my running mix...), and in my Faith.

When I think of a date, I envision a man asking me out in person or over the phone, picking me up from my house, and treating me to coffee or dinner. I do realize that I watch a lot of movies from the 1950s and things have changed.

In the online dating climate, a first date is often the first meeting. Maybe he asks me out via email or over text. We probably meet at a public place. However times may have changed, I think one thing that should stay constant is who does the asking.

When a man asks a woman on a date, he's not merely looking for a lunch partner. I think it carries much more weight. The question itself shows that the man can be in control of a situation; brave in the face of adversity. Going on a date means that the man is emotionally available to be in a relationship. He's asking a woman to put her faith in him.

Yes, sometimes a date is just a way to get to know someone better. However, if we're embarking on the beginnings of a serious relationship, we should be ready for the next step—which might be marriage.

I've seen a lot of complaints in the blog comments here on CatholicMatch Institute from men who don't see why they have to pay on dates. Maybe they've been burned in the past by avaricious females and haven't recovered. Maybe some just think it's not fair. If it's a financial difficulty to take a woman out for dinner, consider coffee or an outing that doesn't cost anything.

One of my favorite bloggers settles the money question in this way: for a first date, a woman might get her hair done, her nails painted, buy a new dress, and maybe even take a few hours off from work to get ready. Financially speaking, she's already invested a significant amount of time and money. She does all of this to show her genuine femininity and respect for the man who has taken the time to ask her out on a date. One of the ways men show their genuine interest is by offering to pay for the first date. 

When a man asks a woman out, it takes courage. I see it as a positive sign that he can be the spiritual head of a family. That he can take charge in a difficult situation. That he can be a good husband and father.

This doesn't mean that a man can't be nudged along. There are plenty of ways a woman can get a man's attention. On CatholicMatch you can send an emotigram, comment on a profile, like his pictures—but ladies don't take his job away! Allow guys to ask you out in his time—and his way.

As much as the dating scene changes, I hope the man always does the asking.