On Their First Date, His Slip-up Was Worse Than Hers

For their first date, Dan gave Maki a multiple choice.

They could either A. go to a museum, B. play darts and billiards, C. hit it off at a miniature golf course, D. go go-carting, or E. bowl.

Maki, who had met Dan on CatholicMatch, picked E.

In some ways, that proved to be the wrong choice.

The first warning sign?

The first warning sign was the people who had recommended the place. “I began looking for bowling alleys in Raleigh. Some sounded like they got pretty crowded, so I decided on one that had good reviews as a more intimate bowling alley. Those reviews were likely coming from college students, since the bowling alley was within walking distance of NCSU,” Dan said.

Inside, the air conditioning was broken and both soon broke into a sweat—not exactly conducive to a romantic first date. The bowling alley also did not have an electronic scoreboard—perhaps fitting for a place named Jurassic Lanes. But those were the least of their problems.

“The lane that we were assigned to had potholes bigger than what they are repairing on I-40, and Maki actually slipped on an oily spot while trying to bowl once,” Dan recalled.

“I felt terrible and embarrassed when I slipped and fell, ugh. But, hey, I just brushed it off and moved on,” Maki said.

In fact, she ended up winning the game, despite being a first-time bowler. Afterwards, the pair went out to dinner and then got some ice cream. Things were looking up.

But then Dan dropped the ball.

“He did not walk me to my door when we reached my place. I felt, ‘Wow, he let me walk by myself to my door, and it was very dark and I had a hard time finding my keys and opening my door,’” Maki recalled.

Dan had his reasons: he thought she was bolting from the car. “I planned to walk her to her door, but when I pulled up in her driveway, she immediately opened her door. I assumed that she didn’t want a strange person at her doorstep, so I awkwardly reached out for a hug goodbye while she was still buckled in the car,” Dan said.

“I immediately typed up a note to her admitting my nervousness and that I really wanted to walk her to the door but panicked when I thought she was making a run for the door.”

Maki responded, teasing him a bit for how the first date had run, but it turned out not to be a deal-breaker.

“She apparently had a good enough time to grant me a second date,” Dan said.

From the beginning, Maki and Dan say God was at the center of their relationship. Maki, a widow in her mid-40s, noted that ever since they started dating there had only been one or two Sundays where she had gone to Mass alone. Sometimes they’d also go with Dan’s three daughters. (Dan, also in his mid-40s, had his previous marriage annulled.)

I felt so welcome it was unreal

“Dan always had things planned for us to do every weekend. He even asked me to join him, the girls and his parents and siblings on a Christmas vacation out of town. And a summer vacation as well with them. This really made me feel like a part of his family. I felt accepted and welcomed by them. It was unreal to me,” Maki said.

She admires Dan’s dedication to his family—including his desire to save his first marriage.

“That is really very noble of him. Dan has a very strong sense of direction in life. So, I thought he is really serious about life, something I really admire him about. His having a strong Catholic Christian values also made me feel like he is the One. I think it is a rarity nowadays to find a guy like him,” Maki said.

Even though she considers herself an independent woman, Maki says she welcomed the comfort being with Dan brought her. “I am a very independent woman of the century. I believe I can survive and support myself. But the woman in me still feels the need to be loved and to be cared for and supported,” Maki said.

Maki is even nicer than Grandma

Dan says it was Maki’s kindness that made him realize she was the woman for him.

“I have told everyone I know that Maki is the nicest person I have ever met, and I mean it,” Dan said.

That statement prompted his three daughters to ask a question: “What about Grandma?”

“I just repeated the statement that ‘Maki is the nicest person I have ever met.’ Sorry Grandma,” Dan said.

“I have yet to find a flaw in this woman,” Dan added. “I was really hoping to find a woman who put God first to be a positive female role model for my girls, and God really delivered. I couldn’t have asked for someone any better. Maki has been a true gift from God.”

Bonding with Dan’s three daughters was particularly important in this relationship. Maki says the fact that she had a Cocker Spaniel, Pluto, helped her build an immediate connection with them.

Pluto brought them together

“They are dog lovers. They are always excited each time I come, in major part I believe because they would be able to play with Pluto. I am surprised that now that we’re living together as a family, they can still recount the very first time they met me. They remember what I wore at that time, the color of my clothes, Pluto, and just about things about our first meeting. Now I can tell that I was actually scrutinized by them,” Maki said.

Dan said he had been worried about it, but was immediately reassured after she first met his daughters. “They all seemed to hit it off very well from the beginning,” Dan said. “My kids can be a little loud and overwhelming at times, so I was glad to see that she adapted so easily. Even though she never had children of her own, she came from a family of seven kids, so she knew all about big crazy families.”

Dan and Maki got engaged on April 2, 2016 and were married that September.

“We planned our wedding to be small, special, and intimate. I felt so happy for Dan because both his parents, all of his five siblings flew and drive over to North Carolina—and their families except for one—to be at the wedding. His parents volunteered to watch the girls while we would be gone for the honeymoon,” Maki said.

“I couldn’t have asked for anything more. This is really a huge blessing. God indeed makes things beautiful, in His time,” Maki added.