Facebook Is Not The Confessional

Facebook seems to have replaced the confessional for a lot of people. They couldn't be more different. In the confessional you have to tell your own sins. You're the villain. What's fun about that? On Facebook you get to tell the other person's sins. Same drama. Different villain. You get to be the victim. You get to tell everybody how wronged you were. Fun?

There is no buzz like it. Oh, that pretty little blue row of soothing comments:

You poor dear! Hugs! <3

What an outrage! >:(

No one deserves to be treated that way. Least of all practically perfect Mary Poppins you! :)

You check in throughout the day. What, only twenty-three ego padding messages? Hm, maybe if I reply to these I can bring the number up to thirty.

Facebook did not invent the problem. People have been venting to anyone within earshot long before Facebook. It's just that Facebook gives you a much longer reach than traditionally venting to your near and dear ones once did.

Are you getting carried away?

So how do you tell the difference between ego-soothing wallowing and legit venting? It depends on what you hope to get out of it.

An outpouring of support from your friends when you're down? Why not?

Some closure? Sure.

A laugh over an unpleasant situation. Even better.

A shower of Ave's to water and cool your fiery, burned up soul? Drop your dew ye clouds of heaven!

These are all solution driven. Your goal is pass through self pity to get to the other side. Great. Keep going and don't look back! Don't get hooked on the buzz you get from venting. Rather than progressing through it, you’re taking a bath in it.

Three questions to ask yourself

How can you tell if you've got a victim buzz going?

Ask yourself:

1. Does venting replace going to the person who offended you and dealing with the issue the way Jesus says?

But if thy brother shall offend against thee, go, and rebuke him between thee and him alone. If he shall hear thee, thou shalt gain thy brother. And if he will not hear thee, take with thee one or two more: that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may stand. And if he will not hear them: tell the church. And if he will not hear the church, let him be to thee as the heathen and publican. Matthew 18:15-17

2. Are you wallowing in the mudpit of your tears hoping to find somebody somewhere out there who won't be sick of hearing it?

3. Has venting replaced facing your own part in the problem and what you did to contribute to it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72JgzKZCTSk

If so, it is time to enter the confessional. This is the place where we lay our victimhood at the door. No matter what we are going through, Jesus gets it.

Jesus knows what it's like

If we are unjustly attacked—Jesus knows what it's like.

Pilate therefore went out to them, and said: What accusation bring you against this man? They answered, and said to him: If he were not a malefactor, we would not have delivered him up to thee. John 18:29-30

If we are provoked—He knows how it feels.

O unbelieving and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I suffer you? Matthew 17:17

If we are let down by our friends—His all fell asleep in His hour of need.

Could you not watch one hour with me? Matthew 26:40

If we feel abandoned—He was alone too.

Then all his disciples deserted him and fled. Mark 14:50

Looking for validation in all the wrong places

The difference between Him and us is that we've done these things to others or possibly contributed to the situation of having others do it to us. That is usually behind our need to complain on Facebook. Somebody, tell me I'm right! We need validation. But we are looking for it in the wrong place.

It can be found in the confessional. There is really nothing more freeing that owning our part in a complaint. Because, in the end, the only person we can change is ourselves. The only person who can free us from wallowing in the mudpit of our tears is us. With grace to help us. There is nothing like confession for helping us find real solutions. Better than a therapist, Confession can actually wipe out the offense and make us innocent again.

Jesus waits for us. His arms are open and His heart is ready to forgive us. That's the only validation that counts.