Do NOT Leave This Out of Your Wedding Day!

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Hello there, engaged couple. May I offer some advice?

A couple months ago, my husband and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. This year in particular, I felt especially moved to reminisce about our wedding day—specifically the wedding Mass. 

And I’m so glad I did. 

Sometimes when planning a wedding, people will (understandably) tell you that what matters most is not the wedding day, but the marriage that comes from it. I completely agree with that statement, and probably even have said it before myself. 

But, I would also argue that your wedding day itself is very important! 

How you start off your marriage together and especially the Mass in which you confer the Sacrament onto each other matters immensely. 

The wedding Mass has God’s grace and mercy written all over it. God infuses your new marriage with specific graces you’ll need in your lifetime together. Those graces are then entrusted to you and your spouse to be claimed and used throughout all the trials and joys of marriage. 

So my first piece of advice for engaged couples? Spend most of your wedding-planning efforts on preparing a beautiful wedding Mass. Hire the best musicians, select all your favorite songs, find that priest who can give the most inspiring homily, choose compelling readings, and decorate the church and your wedding party with the most beautiful flowers. 

It is so worth it. 

But then, don’t stop there.

Think: how amazing will it be to relive your Nuptial Mass every year on your anniversary or any day thereafter—all the intentional efforts you put into the planning, all the people who came to support your new marriage, and the beautiful touches and surprises God added to the day—through beautifully captured photographs? 

This past anniversary, I dusted off our oversized silver photo album and spent at least an hour pouring over the contents, with my youngest son at my side. The poignant moments captured in still-frame washed over my soul with a profound sense of renewed peace and conviction.

It was like I could see God’s grace in action during the moment we exchanged vows…

And in the elevation of the host as we knelt together as husband and wife for the first time…

And on the faces of our guests as they prayed for us during the Our Father. 

I saw our wedding day in a whole new light.

Even though these 8-year-old photographs spent most of their time sitting on an overcrowded bookshelf, here they were, renewing my hope in our marriage

You may not see it now, as a starry-eyed engaged couple planning your wedding… but you’re going to face some real trials in marriage. Marriage is not for the faint of heart.

It is hard, and it is real, and it is raw.

Yes, it is beautiful, and of course there are some amazing joys that you experience. But it would not be called a 'Vocation' if it did not sanctify your very being through some purifying struggles and suffering

And years into your marriage, once the babies and the sleepless nights and the job losses and the new moves come, you may feel tempted to lose a bit of that starry-eyed hope you once had as an engaged couple. What better place to turn to in regaining that sense of hope and peace and faith in the Sacrament, then in the very moment it was received? 

Writing for CatholicMatch, I love the Success Stories of couples who meet on the site.

Hearing how the Author of Love ordained their providential meeting and brought them to their wedding day—and beyond—is so inspiring! But, I cannot tell you how many couples share wedding photos that do not give justice to the Sacrament. Some couples hardly even possess any photos of their wedding day, which is just heartbreaking! 

I understand that weddings are expensive, and those expenses often get blown out of proportion. But I argue that one of the few wedding ‘services’ you should absolutely spend good money on is a great professional photographer. Better yet, a great Catholic professional photographer. Someone who understands the immensity of the Sacrament and knows when and how to capture the moments that matter most.

It is so worth having meaningful photos taken by a professional who respects the sacredness of the Mass and the importance of Holy Matrimony. Trust me, this is money well spent.

Not sure where to start in finding a Catholic photographer?

Spoken Bride has this great list of over 40 Catholic wedding photographers in a number of different states and countries. And there are many more out there! Ask your married friends and acquaintances for who photographed their weddings, or even see if your parish church has a recommendation. 

And after your beautiful wedding day, you will not only have amazing photos to look back on for when you need a reminder of God’s profound grace in your marriage, you will also have fantastic photos to share for your own Success Story ;).

Trust me, you will thank me—and yourselves—for it someday. I pray that God may deeply bless your marriage together!

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