Dear Men, You're Worth It
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To all those great, single, Catholic men out there:
You’re worth waiting for.
I know, usually you hear people say “she’s worth waiting for.” And she is, don’t worry. She’s worth waiting and hoping and praying for. But what everyone forgets to say is that you’re worth it too.
Most of the time, they don’t say it because they think you already know. There’s a rumor going around about men: they need to be cut down to size. We forget sometimes just how many messages of negation you guys get every day.
But the world is full of inspiring people, and guess what. At least half of those good people are men. You’re one of them! Really, you are. No matter what marketing companies and a few angry women might say. You’re a good person.
Are you tired of hearing about your failures? Are you sick of being told that the only good men are taken, when you’re sitting right there? Obviously good, and frustratingly single. It seems like everyone is focusing on the ways a few men are failing in society. Some of those failures are real, legitimate issues; while others seem designed solely to destroy your confidence.
I’ve been hearing a lot about my brothers in Christ recently, and most of it isn’t uplifting at all.
So, in case you haven’t heard recently: You’re essential. You’re attractive. You’re inspiring. You make the world a better place.
Your masculinity isn’t toxic, it’s beautiful. I know that’s hard to hear right now, the world has decided that men like beauty because they’re not beautiful. “Women are beautiful,” they say, “men are ridiculous.” The world is wrong, men are beautiful.
Art through the ages has reveled in the beauty of “man, fully alive.” From Michelangelo’s David to Caravaggio’s Christ men have been impressing us for centuries. Men, you are as much a part of the beauty of creation as women are; and your beauty is more than skin deep.
Men, I want to let you know, that in our crazy world, there is nothing more reassuring to women than a man who knows Christ and knows that he himself is capable of greatness. There is nothing more comforting than the confidence of a strong man.
I need you to know that the world needs you—who you are and what you do, more than anything else right now.
The woman waiting to meet you needs you to know that too. She’s praying for you, that you’ll walk towards her through this wild culture without picking up too many scars on the way.
Most women don’t dream of a man who will cater to them in all things. We don’t dream of men who murmur a weak “yes dear” and turn us into dictators. We dream of strong men, faithful leaders, daily heroes, and big dreamers.
We dream of men like you.
Unfortunately, we rarely tell you that.
I’m sure you’ve noticed that many women, and society in general prefer to tear you down. After a while, you might start to wonder if it’s even worth trying anymore. T.V., movies, even Catholic speakers tend to paint men with a broad brush. They tell you that you’re a freeloader, a whiny man-child with no motivation. They tell you that a woman may settle for you, but she’ll never admire you.
Push all that garbage aside. These caricatures don’t touch the dignity of your masculinity. They don’t touch the amazing gift you are to the world. It’s essential that you recognize that dignity and nourish it. Don’t be afraid to call women out for demeaning statements. Don’t be afraid to turn down women who like you, but can’t affirm you. Don’t be afraid to challenge the world when it calls you stupid, toxic, gross, or incompetent.
Spend time improving yourself and building up the men around you, made in the image of God. Embrace those challenges, learn, grow, thrive. Never settle for a woman who’s just settling for you. Find someone who delights in you. Someone who admires you, who is inspired by you, and who trusts you to make big decisions and follow your dreams.
It may take you a while to find her, but remember, she’s worth the wait. So are you.
Find Your Forever.
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