Why Can't We Ask for Help?

Recently, I've noticed a sad trend...

I'm a Midwestern girl who has always lived in rural Wisconsin. People here are very friendly and helpful. If you will, community mindfulness is an expectation in this part of the States. It's what we do. It is who we are.

But, in recent months, I have noticed a disconcerting change creeping into my neck of the words. It seems like people are stepping away from their Midwestern sensibility and losing their ability to ask for or offer each other help.

For example, my co-workers and even some relatives have politely said no thank you when I offered support. Neighbors have declined my proposals to help. Even absolute strangers have walked away from my assistance. Honestly, it just seems like everyone is finding it easy to say, "That's alright. I've got this."

What is going on? What is happening to good old human interaction?

Is this a pride thing? Are we concerned that strings are attached to an offer? Are we afraid that we might appear weak if we accept assistance? Or is it a matter of distrust of the other's motivation?

It could be any of the above. But, here's my suspicion and growing concern: People just prefer to do things alone. They find more value in independent action than interdependent living.

To paraphrase Astronaut Jack Swigert on Apollo 13, "Houston, we have a problem here." Persons are meant to be with each other; to be helpmates to one another. We are not meant to isolate or go it alone. We are created to be strong when we unite with others, not when we take care of issues by our self.

Our God given nature flourishes best in community.

That is why it saddens me that so many people—especially those who are seeking a spouse—act as if the best life is found in self-sustenance. Well, it is not. God intends independence to be a bridge that you cross to move from dependency into inter-dependency. It is not meant to be a final resting place. The good stuff of life is found beyond the bridge of individualism rather than on it.

In 1964, Jule Stein wrote the song "People" for the Broadway play Funny Girl. The lyrics begin with this phrase.

People, people who need people are the luckiest people in the world.

In my opinion, these words succinctly describe God's plan for us (though, I think God would say "most blessed" and not "luckiest").

While I don't wake up in the morning singing "People", it is fair to say that I remind myself daily that relying on others during the day is the better choice. Interdependence is more valuable than independence. Thus, I humble myself each day in the following three ways. Won't you consider doing the same?

Ask others for help—even if I am sure I can handle it alone. My plan is to choose support even at the risk of inefficiency because the human interaction is a good God wants me to experience.

Offer help to others—even when I know it will cost me time and effort. This is how God will train me to be a worthy helpmate.

Pray for God's help—especially when I think I can do it myself. This is how I remain humble to His love.