How have things changed for you in the last year?
Right around Thanksgiving last year, I wrote my third article for CatholicMatch. As we approach the holidays this year, I’m pondering on how I have grown since then, with God’s grace and assistance.
Fresh from my divorce in 2016, I was hurting and scarred from the emotional wounds dealt to me. Even though I had an active faith in God, it felt like God had abandoned me in my hour of need. I had served him faithfully and yet my life was in shambles.
I felt like I did my best, yet my best wasn’t good enough and I beat myself up for it. I resorted initially to blaming the ex for where we ended up, but eventually, God showed me where I had gone wrong. Acknowledging my failures and asking for forgiveness was liberating and helped the healing process.
Permit me to share with you some of the lessons I have learned since then and a suggested short prayer with each.
Healing is ongoing.
God is in the business of redemption and bringing healing to His people. We think we’re okay and that He has healed us of the hurts from the past. And yet He somehow manages to uncover another layer and show us how much more of Him we need in our lives.
Prayer: God, I offer myself to you that You may heal me in areas I may not even be aware of.
Life is short. Enjoy it.
Don’t sit around waiting for your future spouse to show up while life passes you by. Go do the things you love. Visit some scenic overlooks and take pictures of a beautiful sunset or a warm sunrise or the leaves turning color. Take a friend with you and go to a local country fair. Take some dance lessons. Bake an apple pie and invite some friends over to watch a movie.
Prayer: Dear Jesus, give me eyes to see the opportunities around me that I may partake of them joyfully.
Retreats are necessary.
Life has a way of knocking you down, even when things are going well. There’s an old song that goes, “Stop the world and let me off. I’m tired of going round and round.” We all need time to step away and be in the presence of the Lord and talk to Him and listen to Him for an extended time. Attend a spiritual conference or go on a silent retreat at a monastery and come away refreshed.
Prayer: Better is one day in your courts, than a thousand days elsewhere, Lord. Refresh my spirit in your presence.
It is in giving that you receive.
These words are attributed to St. Francis of Assisi, and they are so true. I’ve found that as I serve others, I am blessed beyond measure. I am going to look for more opportunities to serve the people that God puts in my path, and I invite you to share in this experiment and see what happens.
Prayer: Make us instruments of your love, Lord.
Gratefulness is good for your health.
Maybe you feel like there’s nothing to be grateful for in your life. Everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong. As someone who was in a pretty dark place not so very long ago, let me tell you that dwelling on the things that have gone wrong will do a number on your health. But looking with hope to God in the midst of the storm and being grateful for what you DO have, will bring health benefits.
Prayer: Give us eyes to see all that you have given us, Lord. May we never take any of it for granted. Give us the grace to be generous with those who are even more in need than us.
When we trust God and allow him to work in us, incredible things happen.
In the last two years, I have seen my estranged children reach out to me. I now have meaningful relationships with almost all of them. And it happened because I was patient, gave them space to heal, and loved them unconditionally. It happened because God really does turn evil into good as we trust Him and seek first His kingdom.
I realize we have the divorced, never married, and the widowed on this site. Regardless of the reason why you may be single, you have the opportunity to allow God to "bestow on you a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." (Isaiah 61:3)
I wish you a wonderful holiday season with your family and pray that you would find joy in the journey.
