Giving Thanks for Each Season of Life

In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. 

- 1 Thessalonians 5:18

In just a couple of days, families around our nation will gather in their homes to celebrate life, love, and all that God has given them. It’s a beautiful tradition and for many, it’s an opportunity to see family who might be separated geographically.

Paradoxically, for a lot of single/divorced/widowed Catholics, this is a joyful celebration with friends and family, and yet also can be a very depressing, painful time. Memories of good times surface, awkward questions get asked by well-meaning family members, or children might be celebrating with the ex and can’t be with you. So, how do we celebrate Thanksgiving while still affirming that these emotions are perfectly valid expressions of our humanity?

Permit me to share with you some things that helped me recover the joy of being part of celebrations again.

1. Begin by accepting these feelings as normal.

It’s normal to feel pain at the loss of a spouse. It’s okay to feel sad that we don’t yet have that special someone who can share our lives. We’re not alone in this. There are thousands of singles who feel pain like we do.

Pray with me:  “Jesus, I am hurting. I need your healing touch.”

2. Have an attitude of gratitude in the midst of the pain.

God understands our pain. In the Incarnation, we see Jesus coming to live as one of us. He was abandoned by those closest to Him and He understands that feeling.

He is by our side, willing to carry us through those painful times, if we will only let Him. So one of the first lessons I had to learn was to have an attitude of gratitude in the midst of my pain. Not “for” the pain, but “in” the midst of that pain.

Pray with me:  “I thank you God, that with your help, I will get through this pain.”

3. Actively seek out opportunities to meet friends and family instead of avoiding them.

We were made for communion, for friendship and relationships. I had to choose to actively seek out opportunities to meet others (friends, family) instead of avoiding them. God used them to bring healing to me. Yes, it was awkward sometimes, but I pushed through that with God’s grace.

Pray with me:  “Jesus, I would much rather just stay home and feel sorry for myself. But with your help, I will choose to let go of my self-pity and let you bring healing to me as I spend time with family and friends.”

4. Offer your time and talents at the family gathering.

Cultivate an attitude of service to others. For one thing, we know that we are in the will of God when we serve others. A wonderful benefit is that it takes our mind off our problems and puts the focus on making others around us happy. Cook something special for your family. Entertain them with jokes. Bring your guitar and invite them to sing along.

Pray with me:  “Jesus, show me what I can do to make this Thanksgiving a memorable and happy occasion with my family.”

5. Volunteer to help those less fortunate than you.

If you have no friends or family to visit, invite other singles in your parish over for a fun meal. Or better yet, consider volunteering at a Salvation Army Thanksgiving dinner. Seeing folks a whole lot more unfortunate than we are does bring perspective, and you will have fulfilled Christ’s command to love and serve those less fortunate than you.

Pray with me:  “God, I struggle with the pain of being single, but I am thankful for all the gifts you have bestowed on me and I want to help be a blessing to someone else.”

6. Above all, lay your intentions on the altar before God.

For those of you who have never been married and have been praying without ceasing for a spouse, God hears your cry. Do not give up asking God, and this Thanksgiving, lay your intentions on the altar before Him.

Pray with me:  “Dear Jesus, you know my heart’s desire. You know my thoughts long before I speak them. Help me to trust in you and be thankful for all my experiences as a single person. Help me to live out this state of my life faithfully for you.”

I pray that this will be a Thanksgiving where you can experience the joy of being thankful to God for all His gifts, and that in serving and seeking to bring joy to others, you may find peace, joy, and healing.

Happy Thanksgiving!