When God Asks Big Things of Your Singlehood

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What happens when you stop viewing yourself as just “single waiting for marriage,” and start seeing yourself as God sees you?

About a year ago, I had the honor of meeting Pauline Meert and Irene O’Brien at a Denver Catholic Women’s Conference. They were spreading the word about a Byzantine Catholic Montessori school they were starting...by themselves.

I remember seeming amazed at their confidence, passion, and dedication to their dream. A few months later, I toured their new school as a prospective parent. Though I remember being captivated by the beautiful set-up of the classroom space, what drew me most to enroll my child in Sophia Montessori Academy was the spirit of the teachers. I could tell that for Pauline and Irene, this was not just another job: it was a calling.

Both had dreams to work in Montessori education, and teaming up meant they could reach even more students.

Pauline Meert, 29, has worked in Montessori schools for over a decade, after being prompted by her spiritual director to discern a career in Montessori education. During the first couple of years in the field, the seeds were planted in her heart to start her own school. A few years later, she met Irene O’Brien at a Denver swing dancing club, and they soon discovered their shared passion.

Irene, 36, has been a Montessori teacher for also over a decade, a calling which God solidified through a 30-day-Ignatian retreat. The two soon teamed up, and after spending the next couple of years spreading awareness about Montessori education through their own consulting business, InspireMontessori, the groundwork for opening their school was laid.

After working together for a few years, a new dream was born: to start a school.

What for years served as a hobby for the two teachers suddenly became a reality in December 2016, when God started opening some very clear doors. With hardly a dollar to the school, Pauline and Irene faced off against difficult obstacles, but never once doubted God’s timing or plans.

They began renting the building for the school in June 2017, with many months of renovations that followed. Finally, in February of this year, about nine months from when they began renting their building, Sophia Montessori Academy (SMA) officially had its first day of school—and the dream was finally “born.”

Fulfilling this dream isn't just a placeholder until they find spouses. And in fact, God is using this time of singleness to fulfill dreams they couldn't achieve while married.

Though both Pauline and Irene are currently single, they each have hopes to marry one day. However, they never saw starting the school as a “placeholder” until marriage. On the contrary, both ladies insisted that regardless of when God calls them to their vocations, starting and maintaining the school is something they are supposed to do.

There is, however, some Divine timing to their state of life and the challenges that this dream incurred.

For many months, the two were without any sort of income and had to totally rely on God’s providence. In retrospect, they feel like this was a gift in God’s providence, because as Pauline says, “I personally don’t think I would have done this if I had a family. I don’t think I would have been able to do my best as a mother and a wife on top of starting a school.”

Even though they aren't biological mothers yet, they have been blessed with a spiritual motherhood of the the school and its children.

Image of Pauline Meert and Irene O’Brien cutting ribbon outside doors.

Through not focusing so much on their “singleness” but more on their identities as daughters of God, Pauline and Irene have even been blessed with a type of spiritual motherhood from the starting of SMA.

On top of the fact that preparing the building to operate as a school took almost exactly nine months, Pauline especially views the school as her “baby.” For years, it was the hobby that she would do in her spare time, and now that it’s a reality, she relates some of her emotions surrounding it to that of a new mother.

The “motherhood” that they provide to their students is also beautiful and fulfilling—one of Pauline’s students even brought her a corsage for Mother’s Day this year.

Pauline and Irene can also see how God is using this profound chapter to prepare them for their own vocations.

As Irene puts it, it has been a “crossfit workout in faith,” not unlike what people experience when preparing for marriage. The skills they’ve gained in communication, vulnerability, trust, and humility will translate well to that next phase of their lives.

And, even if they are supposed to remain single, both women have a sense of peace about it. They don’t see starting SMA as their “big V vocation”, but rather a very specific dream that God wanted them to pursue, and to stay with.

For those who are looking for ways to not “waste” their singlehood, but to truly embrace their identity as a child of God no matter what, take some advice from Pauline and Irene:

  • Embrace where you are now, and know your worth as who God made you. Your relationship status should not define you.
  • While you’re single, it’s okay to focus on you. Chasing after your dreams can help you figure out who you are, and make you more free to enter into your Vocation in the future.
  • It’s okay to “mourn” the fact that you’re single, but you shouldn’t dwell in it. God has a plan for you in every phase of your life.
  • Take time to listen to the voice of God—tune your ears and your heart to Him. Trust yourself and what He is asking of you, and you might just find yourself doing remarkable things!

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