What Can These Three Romantic Comedies Teach Us About Healthy Relationships?

Who loves a good movie!?

Personally, I am a fan of the old classics when it comes to cinema. I grew up on Westerns and WWII movies with my dad. My mom introduced me to musicals, the wonderful world of Alfred Hitchcock, and romantic love stories with some of the greatest leading men and women.

What I love about movies, even ones not necessarily religious or faith-based, is that they still have powerful themes that speak to the depths of the human spirit. Storylines with redemption, heroism, and the triumph of good over evil. Movies can convey deep messages that resonate with the human spirit.

I don’t know about you, but the last few months have felt both overwhelming and exhausting at times. There are days it has been difficult for me to stay focused in the present moment.

So let’s take a lighter, more fun approach to movies today….

What Can Romantic Comedies Teach Us About Healthy Relationships?

I promise you there are lessons to be learned!

Let’s dive in and take a look at some popular rom-coms and what they can teach us when it comes to dating and relationships.

You’ve Got Mail...

I mean why not start with the best right out of the gate!? Both roles Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks play are lovable and funny. This sweet tale of local bookstore owner (Kathleen Kelly) getting overrun by the giant super-bookstore owner Joe Fox of Fox Books. Both characters are messaging someone online they are falling for, but then circumstances reveal the two arch-enemies are actually messaging each other. 

What does this movie have to teach us? Be your authentic self in a relationship. Don’t try to be someone else or who you think the other person wants you to become. You’ve Got Mail reveals this. Joe Fox is kind of funny, sarcastic, and has a more jaded view of relationships. Kathleen Kelly deeply loves books, gets excited about the little things, and has a creative spirit.

As the plot develops, and the characters see different sides of each other, it opens them up more to the other. Healthy relationships consist of two imperfect people loving and honoring the other just as they are. Just be you in dating, that is always enough.

If you are a book lover or adore bouquets of sharpened pencils (if you know, you get this!) this movie will make you smile and laugh every time!

Return to Me...

I remember first seeing this movie in junior high at a friend's house and instantly loved it. A cast of great characters, funny one-liners, and a tender story that warms the heart. 

Bob Rueland, a recent widower, lost his wife in a tragic car crash. In time, he receives a note from the person who received the heart of his wife in a life-saving operation. At dinner one night he meets a beautiful woman, Grace, who works at her grandpa’s Irish-Italian restaurant. Awkwardly but sweetly, they go on a first date, leading to love and a relationship. Everything changes when Bob learns the person who wrote him that letter was Grace.

What does this movie teach us? Love and relationships force us to work through our own wounds and baggage. In realizing Grace has his dead wife's heart, this brings up confusion and uncertainty for him. He realizes he has to do some deeper soul work in processing the death of his wife and what this means for his relationship with Grace.

Relationships take work. To be the healthiest version of ourselves, we need to work through our baggage so it doesn’t follow us into dating.

This is one of my favorite movies and I love to quote it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

While You Were Sleeping...

I first watched this with my mom in junior high and I came back to it as a cozy movie with a homey feel.

A lonely transit worker falls in love (without ever speaking to him!) with a handsome lawyer Peter as he walks by her booth every morning. After saving his life from an accident, the only way she can see him in the hospital is by saying she is his fiancé. Peter’s loud, unique family enters the scene and takes Lucy under their wing, not knowing she is not actually their son’s fiancé. As the plot thickens, Lucy begins to fall for Peter’s handsome, quiet older brother Jack.

What does this movie teach us? Love is a surprise. You can’t plan for it or achieve it by reaching and grasping. The most wonderful things in life are the sweet, beautiful surprises we cannot plan for.

Yes have standards and expectations when it comes to dating and relationships, but live your life with openness. Allow yourself to be surprised by love! With dating in my own life, the best relationships I have been are the ones I did not plan for and was surprised.

This movie is filled with quirky characters and hysterical one-liners. A great movie to watch around the holiday season!

Be on the look-out for ways movies can teach us about dating and relationships. If you look closely, you will find plenty of examples.

Are there any other romantic comedies you love that can teach us about healthy relationships?