How to Fall in Love

When I was in high school, I trained under the guidance of a great cross country coach who taught me to never give up on something that I loved. She used to quote Steve Prefontaine, an Olympic track star who said, “To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.” As a teenager, I always applied this to races. So here are the ways I started applying this mentality to the rest of my life—specifically to falling in love and entering into relationships.

Start Loving Now. To have someone to love is the greatest gift of all. Even if I'm single I try too see every day as an opportunity to be thankful and share joy with family members and friends. To love less than I am capable is sacrificing the joy God gives. The quote that used to get me through the last mile is now a mantra that enhances other parts of my life. “To love anything less than your most is to sacrifice the gift” is my little tweak to the famous line.

Know What You Want. When I marry, I want to know that I love my spouse with all of myself and that he loves me with all of himself. But I also want to know those little intimate details, like he drinks coffee with milk only or it annoys him when I leave my purse on the floor. I also want to make sure that I know how to help him calm down when he’s frustrated or recognize if he is having a bad day.

Remember to Give. Relationships—though they can be exhausting, confusing, and stressful at times—are gifts. To love someone without all of your energy is not really giving yourself to them as a partner. I’m not talking about the physical part of a relationship. I’m talking about the part that forgives each other when someone says something they don’t really mean. The part that remembers to say “Good morning, I love you,” every single day, via text message or phone call or whatever. The part that goes against the crowd—even when it is hard—but it is the right thing to do.

Find the Right Person. Love is a full time job with a thousand different responsibilities. Your job is not to make your spouse happy. The number one task is to bring your spouse to heaven and that means being true in good times and in bad ... even when you don't feel like it. So it is essential to find the right person who will work just as hard as you do on strengthening your relationship and marriage. A relationship requires a lot of work and a lot of little moments to make it strong. That is why commitment can be scary. Sometimes, it can be overwhelming to think of all the love and care God is asking you to give to another person. But the beauty of a fulfilling and happy relationship is that the other half is giving it right back.

Forgive the Small Stuff.  Finding "The One" takes time. Be patient with yourself. Expand your horizons and meet people that go beyond the imaginary “perfect match” you have created in your mind. Many times the right person may be just slightly outside of one’s preferences. Forgive the small stuff and give "Mr. or Mrs. Almost" a chance.

Falling in love is a great joy God has provided us with. When it is right, it is right. So love your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife with all of yourself, all of the time.

It’s a gift we get to open again and again.