4 Ways to Tell That a Guy Is (Really!) Into You

How do you know if he's interested?

A few days into their relationship, a young woman confessed to a guy she had met online: "I feel like I've been interviewing you. Is there anything you would like to ask about me?"

"Not really," he said. "Your profile on CatholicMatch answered the really big questions."

He already felt like he knew her. But her relationships with previous men who didn't ask many questions never lasted long. As it turned out, the guys who didn't ask questions just weren't that into her. And her gut told her so, but she liked those guys, so she usually ignored it. This time, she listened to it.

So she proceeded, but with caution. Three dates in, she knew: He wasn't really into her after all. And she learned what she wishes she'd learned much sooner—that in lots of cases, you can tell whether a guy is truly into you long before he uses words to tell you.

A guy who's into you makes eye contact with you.

And he does it as much from across the table as he did from across the room before you officially met. It doesn't feel to you like he's ogling. It feels to you like he's flirting, connecting, or even beholding. As you're getting to know him, how he looks at you is evidence that he's fully present. Once in a while, he can't help but smile while your eyes meet. If you're into him, too, smile back.

A guy who's into you also asks you questions.

And his questions are meaningful, questions that show you there's depth to his interest. He wants to know what you value, what you're thinking and feeling, and what your needs and desires are. When he asks, he is attentive while you answer—and he lets your answers influence him. Once he knows you have a need, he respects it and when appropriate, he provides it.

A guy who's into you is also thoughtful.

If your love language isn't his favorite, he speaks it to you anyway. And he doesn't just learn facts about you—he applies them. It delights him to consider what you like and what you don't when he's making a decision that affects you. Because it pleases him to please you, he puts thought into the dates he plans, the gifts he gives, and the words he says. He uses them to show you that he knows you.

And a guy who's into you makes sacrifices for you.

A guy who's truly into you makes time and space for you. He prioritizes his relationship with you. He doesn't only make sacrifices for you if you ask him to. He also does it on his own because he's decided that you're that important to him.

Is it possible for a guy who doesn't do these things to be into you—a guy who doesn't make eye contact or ask questions, who isn't thoughtful or sacrificial? I suppose it's possible, yes. A guy who doesn't do these things may want a relationship with you.

But he may not be ready for one. And you deserve to date someone who is!