What to Do When You Just Can't Ask Him Out

Ladies don't want to ask guys out. You want him to ask you out. I get that. Catholics are famous for being old fashioned. I'm the same way.

But what if he doesn't ask you out? You're not going to give up that easily, are you?

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, a young woman met a young man. She was working in a medical office when he walked in with a broken arm. She was attracted to him. Every time he came in to check on the progress of his arm, she liked him more. She was pretty sure he liked her too. At each visit, she thought, this time he'll ask me out.

But he never did.

The fellow was shy, but the young woman wasn't. Still, she wasn't about to ask him out. She wanted him to ask her. On his final visit, the situation got urgent. His arm was healed. He would never have to come back again! She told me that she watched him walk slowly down the long hallway and out of her life ... forever.

Except, when he went to check out, her co-worker handed him her phone number. They established a back up plan ... just in case.

Guess what? He called. They got married, had eight wonderful children and lived happily ever after.

If you're the type of gal who won't ask a guy out, you are not stuck waiting for him to ask you out.

Most guys need a little encouragement before they ask a woman out. Some guys need a lot. That's the bad news. The good news is...  Here are four tactics:

1) Let him know you are interested. Right now he's a friend, right? You would not hesitate to let one of your women friends know you wanted to see more of her. So you are perfectly free to let him know. "Let's get together sometime!" That's what friends say to each other. (If you are hoping to get together with a guy you met online, it is perfectly fine for you to be the one who brings it up. "Hey, maybe we should continue this conversation in person sometime.")

2) Hangout with your family. If you want to be more obvious, you still don't have to ask him out directly. You can ask him in! Invite him over to hang out with your family. You can even invite other people at the same time and see how it goes. Tell your family he is just a friend so everyone acts normal—especially if there are children a.k.a. professional gigglers in the house. Your home is a much more natural place for a guy to get to know you than a date setting anyway. Do not hide in the kitchen to impress him with your cooking prowess. Hang out with him. You can learn a lot about him by the way he interacts with your family. If the visit goes well, invite him again, with or without the others.

3) Host an event. You can do similarly if you live with a friend. Just make sure that he gets the invite from you and not from your friend. Don't mess with his brain. This is easier the first time if it centers on an occasion, "Hey, we're grilling on the fourth. Stop by!"

4) Go out in a group. If your living situation doesn't allow for the above, you can still reach out to him. "Hey, a bunch of us are going to Theology on Tap. Want to come?" If he shows up, he just may be interested. Send him a text afterward saying it was great he came.

Like I said, I know the way old fashioned girls think. "I can't do this. I don't agree with this. The first move is his to make. If I make it, I'll feel like a brazen hussy. It'll make him look like a wimp."

Not at all. All of the tactics I mentioned above are time honored, old-fashioned ways a woman lets a guy know she wants him to ask her out. There is nothing brazen or hussified about it. Such things do not automatically render a guy a wimp either.

It may not seem fairy tale perfect. Prince sees princess. Prince chases princess. Princess doesn't have to stick her neck out one bit—except to dodge a jealous queen or something. Instead of a fairy tale, think of it more like a romantic comedy.

The important thing is that both fairy tales and romantic comedies end the same way: kiss, fade out, happily ever after.