Studies Show That Marriage Should Come Before the Baby Carriage

There’s been a lot of blame on the Internet lately about how everything is the Millennials' fault. I’m rather begrudgingly in that generation, so while I understand some of the grumbling about entitlement and narcissism—this is getting ridiculous. Millennials are ruining avocados and beer? Maybe we are late bloomers compared to earlier generations, but is it all our fault? Maybe it is...

You did everything you were supposed to do...but you're still not where you expected to be.

I look at where my parents were at my age and it’s easy to get discouraged. They were already on their fourth house and second child, and my mom was a housewife. I did everything I was supposed to do—college, grad school, full time job—but here I am. In my 30's and employed, but certainly not married or a homeowner. 

Some of my non-Catholic friends seem to have it all—the house, the kids, the white picket fence...but still aren’t married. Weddings are so expensive. Why bother? Their lives on social media look so fun and carefree. It makes me wonder why I’m trying to do things the “right” way. Does it even matter?

The best sequence for success: education, job, marriage, kids.

According to this recent article, "New report says millennials are broke because they're making choices out of order"—it most certainly does matter. The main point that the author makes is that more Millennials (55%) are having children before getting married than previous generations did (25%). Because of this, they are struggling to rise financially. Studies now claim that there actually is a "Success Sequence" that should be followed in this order: education, job, marriage, kids. “Most financially successful young adults today continue to marry before having children.”

The report does not say that following this sequence will make everyone wealthy. It claims that it will steer the adults and any future children away from poverty. Money is still the #1 cause of stress in relationships, so while we may not aspire to be on the “Richest Man Alive!” list, being financially stable can certainly help us in our daily lives.

As single parents already know, there are cons of not being married and having children. There is no pooling of resources; therefore affording a home or a new car may be an unattainable luxury. Being involved at school falls entirely on one person’s shoulders. Studies show that marriage helps couples stay healthier and live longer, especially men. There is also less accountability when couples aren’t in a sacramental marriage. For children, knowing that they have a family as a support system creates a more secure environment. 

The Catholic Church has a "success sequence" too. And it always works!

Maybe we are sometimes frustrated by the seemingly endless rules of the Church. It’s tempting to live like everyone else—why splurge on a wedding when living together can be so much fun?! However, the Church has always understood the vocation to the married state. Marriage is not an ordeal that is foisted on us because some priest tells us it’s the right thing to do. It’s a sacrament that unites a man and a woman, and gives them the grace to help each other get to Heaven. Our vocation as Catholics is to strive to create a home life that echoes that of the Holy Family. And every once in a while, science proves that the Church has been right all along.

We never know where life may take us and how things may work out in the end. I’ve always thought that being single gives us time to work on ourselves, whether it’s continuing our education or finding a more suitable career or learning useful skills.

Following the "Success Sequence" may help later on when things might not be going in our favor—like the death of a spouse or the loss of a job. Nothing in this life is perfect. However, the more we strive to be perfect here, the greater reward we can hope for in Heaven.