Single This Holiday Season? Here's the Advice You (Really) Need

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This season, don't stress about going solo.

We all know that our family members have good intentions and want us to be happy, but it can be unnerving to walk through a relative’s front door holding a plate of Christmas cookies without a handsome/beautiful significant other walking in after you. One individual should never define you, but in our culture, it’s expected that once we reach a certain age, a significant other a.k.a. future spouse should be in the picture.

Our timing isn’t God’s timing, so here are several scenarios that you may encounter this holiday season as an unattached guy or gal, and my recommendations on how to respond.

Scenario #1

The big Christmas meal begins and Grandma announces in front of the entire family that she’s not getting any younger, and it’s time for that certain grandchild (that would be you) to settle down and start a family.

How to respond: You better start off with a laugh before saying, “I completely agree, and I’m working on it!” If you’re comfortable, you can talk about your journey on CatholicMatch, and your desire to find a top-notch significant other who shares your faith and values. It may also be your chance to mention that not everyone is destined to marry young.

Scenario #2

Your extended family is going around the table and talking about the great things they have all experienced throughout the year. Your sister talks about your niece’s first day of school, your dad recalls your parent’s anniversary trip to Napa Valley, and your younger cousin re-tells his engagement story from last Christmas. Then they come to you…

How to respond: Think back to all of the great experiences you had in the past year because you were unattached. Talk about that last-minute trip you took with your best friend, your promotion at work, or your trendy new apartment in the city. Mention your new dog, the book club you joined, or that new exercise class that’s all the rage. Single life has its benefits too, so act like it!

Scenario #3

As you’re admiring a vast array of holiday desserts, Uncle Joe moseys over to you to check in on your dating life. “Maybe you’re just being too picky,” he casually suggests.

How to respond: “I’ve heard that before, but at this point in my life, I’m looking for a real catch, so I think I deserve to be picky. No one is perfect, including me, but I’m holding out for someone with great qualities, including a good heart.”

It takes confidence and grace to mingle among happy couples and growing families, but if you approach each function with a positive attitude and hopeful outlook, you will set yourself up for future years spent under the mistletoe!

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