Waiting For God To Send Me A Husband (& How To Wait Patiently)
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We've all been there: you're single and waiting to meet Mr. Right! I remember all too well what it was like while waiting for God to send me a husband...
While as Catholics we all know that God has a plan in place for us, sometimes it can get a little bit (okay, extremely!) frustrating while we wait to meet our future husbands. We also know God's timing is ultimately perfect, but that definitely doesn't make the waiting any easier. Singleness isn't all sunshine and roses, after all!
So, what's a good Catholic girl to do in this scenario? Keep reading for my two cents on the importance of waiting on God to meet your future spouse and how to make the most of being single.
Is Waiting for God to Send Me a Husband the Right Thing To Do?
Maybe you’ve heard a good friend talk about their personal story of waiting on God for a husband. Perhaps you’ve read scriptures about waiting on God for a spouse. Or, maybe you've chatted with other Christian singles about their strategy for finding "the one".
Whatever you think about waiting for God to bring you your future husband, I have a little disclaimer for you: this is the wrong question to ask. You see, the phrasing “waiting on God to send me a husband” has several problems:
- It implies all the romantic effort is up to God alone.
- It puts all the emphasis on what (or who) you get,and none on what you can give.
- It creates the idea that your life only starts after you get married.
It’s far better to ask yourself, “How does God want me to spend my time while I’m single? How does God want me to approach pursuing marriage?” These questions keep God as the central focus of your romantic life, keep you responsible for your own choices, and also emphasizes the importance of your life now, not just your life post-wedding.
Why Letting God Choose Your Mate is the Right Course of Action
Waiting on God's timing for a husband is a lot about mindset, like we just discussed. It is equally important to think about what God wants for you when He chooses your mate. First, God always, always, wants to bring you closer to Him. The spouse He has in mind for you will not pull you farther from your faith, but rather support you in it. God also desires you to be the best version of yourself and to embrace how He made you. A spouse from Him will not ask you to be someone you’re not, and will rejoice in your individuality.
Finally, God’s chosen spouses often look very different than who we picture for ourselves. And that’s a good thing! He knows what you need, and who needs you in return. He will help you recognize the qualities you need in a spouse as you go along. God's will for us is always what will ultimately make us happy, even if we don't always believe it at first.
How God leads you to your spouse will be unique and beautiful! Don't compare your situation to others', as God knows what's best for YOU.
What to do While Waiting on God for a Husband
Now, let’s talk about how to wait for the right man from God...
Being a single woman can have its perks and there is plenty to keep you busy before you finally become a wife! Part of how to wait on God for a husband should involve these 10 steps.
1. Work on your relationship with God.
Everything in your life, no matter what, stems from God. Develop a prayer life and learn more about your faith! As a single person, you typically will have more free time than someone who is in a serious relationship. Use this extra time to develop a strong prayer life that you can rely on for years to come. Just as you want to date a Godly man, your future husband wants to date a Godly woman. Pick up a new devotional, say a St. Joseph Novena, or commit to attending Adoration.
2. Work on your relationship with yourself.
Healthy relationships with ourselves involve self-reflection, honesty, humility, and a willingness to change. There is no better time to truly examine yourself and see where and how you should improve than in your single years!
3. Work on your relationship with others—NOT just your date's!
Believe it or not, marriage will be made up of 90% “normal” relationship skills, and only 10% “romantic” skills. If you improve and work on your relationships with others, you are a) improving your life and theirs, and b) setting yourself up for a better marriage in the future.
4. Build a life you love on your own.
You don’t need a spouse to be happy, because God made you a whole person on your own. It’s fine to want a marriage, and the first step in building a happy marriage is to build a happy life yourself.
5. Prepare some practical things for your future marriage.
Money skills, work ethic, communication skills, and career plans all fall into this category. Plan now and take action steps toward what you hope your family life will look like! You will be surprised at how developing these skills will benefit you even now. Another practical step to prepare for your future marriage is to pray for your future spouse. Your daily prayer routine should include a prayer for future husband!
6. Explore your interests.
Developing your own personal and/or professional interests will improve you as a person, help you learn more about yourself and what you want to do, and give you direction when waiting on God for a spouse.
7. Be open to other callings now.
I don’t mean seminary school or postulancy, necessarily. I do mean the corporal works of mercy: feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick and imprisoned, bury the dead, and give alms to the poor.
8. Take care of your body.
Your health and well-being play an important role in whatever life stage you’re in. Take initiative and start caring for yourself now, and you will see the benefits in your romantic life.
9. Put yourself out there.
As nice as it sounds, God doesn’t drop spouses off on doorsteps no matter how many Novenas you pray. He asks you to put in what effort you can—so buckle on your courage and meet people, in-person and online. Putting yourself out there allows God a chance to work in your romantic life.
10. Date.
Before you can get married, you have to go on dates—they’re a natural prerequisite to finding a good spouse. First dates aren’t proposals and shouldn’t be taken too seriously; they’re simply a great way to get to know other people and learn more about what you are looking for, who is a good fit, and what you might need to work on yourself. How do you expect to find your soul mate if you aren't ever going on dates?!
Scriptures on Waiting on God for a Spouse
The Scriptures have a lot to say about marriage, love, and the spiritual nature of wedded life. But never fear—even when God makes you wait for a spouse, you can count yourself among good company.
There are many Bible verses that have a lot to say on how to wait on God for a husband (or wife!). For instance, remember Rachel and Jacob, who waited fourteen years to marry each other (and poor Leah got the short end of the stick)? But that’s definitely not the only example of waiting.
God's word has a lot more to say on the nature of waiting itself—especially waiting for something good, like marriage. Let’s check out Psalm 40, Romans 5:3-5, 1 Corinthians 15:33, and John 13:7, and unpack what they can tell us about waiting for the one God has for you.
Psalm 40:
"I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry."
What this tells us about waiting on God for a mate:
Waiting on God for a mate might sometimes feel like your cries of prayer are unheard or ignored. Nothing could be further from the truth! This beautiful Psalm tells us point-blank that God is listening, no matter what. He hears you and understands your prayers. He may answer them in very different ways than you expect—our job is to be patient and wait for His plans to unfold. Continue going to God with your cries, and wait patiently for His answers.
Romans 5:3-5:
"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
What this tells us about waiting on God for a mate:
This verse tells us that waiting and suffering produce great fruits, whether we get married or not. The whole point of the Christian life is to become more like Christ. Waiting and suffering have a purpose, and we are supposed to offer it back to the Lord and endure it for Him. When you feel like your single years are interminably difficult or you've been through a terrible break-up, remember this verse and take comfort in it.
Waiting for God to send the right man is hard. But, remember, suffering itself is worthy and should be used as a prayer because it has the potential to change you for the better. Use your single years to become better at embracing suffering, because even married couples have their fair share of suffering, too!
1 Corinthians 15:33:
"Do not be deceived: 'Bad company ruins good morals'."
What this tells us about the testimony of waiting on God for a husband:
This is a powerful verse about the testimony of waiting for a Godly husband. Remember how we talked about putting yourself out there among the right people? This applies directly to that idea. When God makes you wait for a spouse, no matter how faithful you are, looking for a potential spouse in the wrong company puts you in great danger. This verse shows us the importance of dating within your faith and values.
It may be tempting to lower your standards and date people who don’t share your faith, but remember this verse. Put yourself around faithful people with good morals, and it will be among them you are likely to find the spouse God has in mind for you.
John 13:7:
''Jesus answered him, 'What I am doing you do not know now, but afterward you will understand'."
What this tells us about the testimony of waiting for God to send you the right man:
Throughout the Gospels, Jesus does many things which the disciples do not understand until long afterward. In waiting for the one God has for you, you might not now realize how God is working in your life right now. But years down the road, you’ll look back and see how He planned your life even while you thought nothing was happening. Take heart in this. So many others before you never knew how God was shaping them, but later on, they realized just how much those single years mattered after all.
Final Points on Waiting on God for a Spouse
Letting God choose your mate is not a very easy business. But the best things are never easy! Do your best to trust God with your future. Allowing God to direct your love story is the best thing you can do for your future marriage. He knows the desires of your heart and He wants to help you with them. He has plans for you, and if you are willing to put forth your best effort, He will do the rest.
FAQS:
Should Men Also Be Waiting on God For a Wife?
Yes, definitely! Men also should be patiently (and prayerfully) waiting to meet their future bride in the very same way that women should be waiting to meet their future husbands. Men, feel free to read this post and simply swap the word "husband" for "wife"!
Why is God Making Me Wait for a Husband Anyway?
As frustrating as your single years can be, remember, they serve a purpose and God's timeline is always best. He has a plan in place for you! Do your best to try and trust His timing, and make the most of your single years while you wait for him to introduce you to Mr. Right...
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