Here's How You Can (Finally!) De-Stress Your Life

Life flies by at an amazing pace today.

Expectations of those around us, the world, our potential dates, and our employers are through the roof. Multitasking is no longer something we do when work is crazy, it’s become commonplace and leaks into our “downtime”. This is far from healthy, and not how we are meant to live life.

We need to be focused on the important things, driven, leading, and constantly becoming more. How can you lead if you are constantly distracted? How can you have a meaningful relationship if you can’t concentrate on and connect with people? To become better men, we need to figure out how to balance life.

Like your precious ring...

For most people today, my guess is one of the first things you do in the morning is check your phone. I bet you’ve had a moment like Gollum in “The Lord of the Rings” where you suddenly panicked not knowing where your “precious” is. You franticly pat your pockets, check your desk, get up and check where you’re sitting, breathing a sigh of relief to see it on the armrest. Feel like a trip to Mordor? Me either. Put it down.

Today, you’ll wake up to several messages in Messenger, you’ll have twenty Facebook notifications, a few news alerts, and fifty emails in your inbox. Instagram will have updates on your friends' lives that morning, plus those great vacation pics!

How often do you find yourself watching TV, while looking up stuff on your computer, and checking your phone at the same time? Have you noticed that you’re talking to someone in person, yet you feel the need to check that Facebook notification, or see what your friends are up to on Instagram?

Have you seen the news lately? Are you panicking because of the next mandate, the next bill, or the latest blunder? Take a look at your phone. There will be a place to see your usage and time spent. How much time did you spend on social media today? How much time on the interweb (why my friends and I call it that, I don’t know)? Our minds are constantly bombarded with information and entertainment. This leads to stress even when we don’t realize it. 

Revelation.

The first step for calming life down is to be able to recognize the chaos. I think as men we are taught to often “just deal” with whatever is going on. There will always be stress in this life, but our bodies are only equipped to handle a certain amount. Where we run into trouble is when we exceed that.

What are some signs that we may have too much going on? Maybe we find we’ve lost touch with family or friends. Maybe we feel like the days are too short. Maybe we are constantly distracted during prayer. Our minds might constantly race. And yes, our electronics addiction may show as well. We can’t enjoy quiet. It’s hard to spend time with even our pets without reaching for the phone.

Toss it into the fire!

Ok, maybe that’s a little extreme. But, now we’ve identified the problem, we can find solutions starting with technology. These are some that have helped me, and why I think some are important. First, if you can, find a way to delete social media. Social media can be a blessing and a very useful tool, but it can also be the cause of jealousy, stress, and unneeded irritation. That’s aside from the privacy concerns, but that’s another topic. If you see you spend an hour a day on social media, think about what you can do without it!

Ok, if you can’t bring yourself to do it, then at least turn off your notifications. Do you really need to know when your old high-school acquaintance likes your photo of the burnt toast you had for breakfast? Could it wait until your tasks are done, or your visit is over? Same with email. Do you really need to check every ping when half the time it’s just junk mail? And, the news. Let’s face it, the world has gone to hell on a gravy train with biscuit wheels. There’s turmoil and fear everywhere we look.

What can you do about it? Pray. As I mentioned in my last post, work at the local level. Otherwise, prepare and live your life. It’s good to be informed of the events in the Church and the world, but a quick scan of headlines will give you a good idea of what’s going on. You don’t need to steep yourself in it.

Give yourself a moment for pity’s sake!

Next, let’s think about some healthy alternatives. Spend time in nature. Not everyone finds comfort and peace in the wild as I do, but just staring at the sky or watching the trees for a few minutes can help calm our minds if we focus just on the beauty in front of us.

Try spending ten minutes standing barefoot in the grass. Pay attention to how it feels. I bet you’ve never tried it! Put your hand on a tree, feel the bark, its texture, follow its lines. It will help ground you. Start working out. You don’t have to be trying for the rock-hard abs. Just take time to pick up and put down some heavy things.

If you don’t have a gym, there are all sorts of ways around that! Maybe an illness or disability keeps you from lifting much or anything as it does me. Try stretching. Take a short walk. If you don’t have a pet, get a furry one! Science has found petting an animal for a few minutes can lower your blood pressure, helps reduce stress, and releases those feel goods into your brain! You will feel better about yourself and life in general for doing these things.

God speaks through silence.

Last, but not least, we must address the spiritual part. God speaks to us in the quiet. If we never give Him room, how can we know His will? Try spending time at Adoration. Too antsy? I know I struggled. Just give it a try for five minutes. Try to just be there in His Presence. You don’t need special words, or even to say much of anything. Just be with Him.

My current attempt is praying a “Surrender” novena a friend gave me. When people say “surrender” it can be tough for me to figure out how to balance surrendering and complete trust, while also not being apathetic. God will work with us. We need to make the best decisions we can, and then trust Him to provide the outcome that is best for us.

Say the Rosary. If you’re like me, you’ll get distracted easily, and it may not feel like you did it properly. Keep trying. Maybe break up the Rosary into decades that are easier to concentrate on. Frequenting Confession and the Eucharist will help keep our spiritual life on track and give us a sense of calm and peace greater than anything I’ve mentioned to this point. 

We are told numerous times that the devil feeds on chaos, anxiety, and fear. Let’s try to simplify and calm our lives and spirits to not give him the edge. By working on this, we also build ourselves into better men. We will be able to lead better, be healthier, and be more present in our relationships. As a result, we will be more capable, more confident, and I would bet more attractive to the woman God will send our way.