5 Things You Should Always Do On A First Date

Do you have any funny, embarrassing or horror date stories? Most everyone does and although it's easy to find the humor in them later when you recount the story, it can be the worst day of your life when you're in the thick of it. I remember meeting a guy who lived in my apartment complex for a fun, low-key first date. We decided to spend the afternoon at the pool where we could talk, have lunch, and focus on each other, instead of going to a movie or something like that. All went well that day if you don't count the fact that I accidentally kicked him in the face... hard... while we were swimming in the pool. That was also our last date. And then there was the guy who kept calling me "Lovey" our first time out. No, he wasn't a Brit, just a creepster. Done.

No doubt, if you've been out there dating, you can relate to my stories, and probably have some whoppers of your own to report. When I look back at that time in my life, there are some things I'd change about myself to make first dates a little less awkward and definitely some things I'd change about my dates. Here's a little list of potentially helpful tips to reduce the stress of your first date and make it as enjoyable as possible:

1.    Keep It Simple

Men: Most women are more impressed by how a man treats her than how original or elaborate the date is. If she feels special, attractive, and important, she will enjoy herself so keep the first date simple, and focused on her. Maybe take her to lunch and browse books at Barnes & Noble afterward which is a good way to spark conversation and discuss each others' interests, or maybe a "Movie Night on the Green" if your community offers something like that.

Women: Most men I know like to feel appreciated for what they do, not just for the size of their wallets. If he asks you where you'd like to go, suggest something fun and financially reasonable. For example, many communities offer street fairs or festivals like "A Taste of ... (city you live in)" where simplicity, fun, and wallet-friendly fare are all components.

2.    Find Complimentary Associations and Experiences

A lot of people tend to get nervous when the conversation begins to slow down, but this is no time to panic because panicking can easily turn into an opportunity for you to say something stupid or embarrassing. One good way to overcome the pressure to have something to say is by listening closely to the things your date tells you and see if you have any complementary associations or experiences that you can talk about when the lulls in conversation show up. Instead of bringing up while he or she is doing the talking, the lulls can be a time you can easily turn the conversation to yourself.

3.    Have A Sense Of Humor

Hey, stuff happens on first dates. Embarrassing stuff. Little particles of food come flying out of your mouth when you're talking. Mud splashes on your pants. You intend to say one thing but you get tongue-tied and something different comes out. It happens! Like one guy who reported on meeting his date's father for the first time. He intended to say, It's a pleasure to meet you, but what actually came out was, I am pleasure. It doesn't get more awkward than that! Be the kind of person who can laugh at themselves without their whole day being ruined. Have a sense of humor about it all so when you look back, it is a pleasant memory not an awful one.

4.    Have A Plan B

I remember going on a date with a guy who was taking me to dinner but had forgotten to make a reservation. He remembered this minor detail as we were on our way and kicked himself for not planning ahead, but in the end, it didn't matter one bit because the restaurant was closed for remodeling. That made him feel like a shlub (his words) and I felt bad for him. This faux pax put a real damper on the evening because he became too indecisive to find some place to go that met his standards, whereas I would have been happy with the mom n' pop Mexican joint on the corner. Not a great way to begin a first date, but certainly not the end of the world. Men, if you find yourself in a situation where Plan A just won't work, have a back-up plan or two. Ladies, if Plan A goes away, be flexible, be gracious, and be adventurous.

5.    Be Yourself

That probably sounds like a platitude but I've been surprised by how far some people will go to make an initial good impression on their date—to the point of being fraudulent. Remember that you've already been endowed by God with excellent gifts and talents so there's no need to rely on anything else but the wonderful person you are. If you are with a good person, he or she will appreciate you for who you are.

Just remember that dating is supposed to be fun! Don't let your nerves and awkwardness takeover, just keep it simple, plan a little, have a sense of humor and most likely you'll have a great time!

Feel free to contact me with your comments and questions at asklisa@catholicmatch.com.