5 Things Women Really Want in a Man

The Elite Daily post, "5 Unique Qualities In A Man That Every Woman Is Searching For" has been making the rounds on Facebook for a while now and I always look to see which of my friends have shared it. Usually, there's a decisive line of posts between my practicing Catholic friends and my other ... not so much believing ... acquaintances—but this one has been shared by both sides (and by men and women) equally. I agree with all of the points I've listed below, but judging from comments on some CatholicMatch Institute blogs and other sites, there are a lot of misconceptions about what women really want. Let me clear it up:

Respect. Women want to be treated with courtesy. They want to be appreciated for things that they do, even if it's laundry or food shopping. They want a man to show respect for other women. If a man doesn't treat his mother and sisters like queens, he probably won't bother showing any sort of consideration for his wife. A man who's rude to a waitress or cashier? Always a bad sign. A man should always be respectful of others because we are all made in the image and likeness of God, and we deserve to be treated as such.

Independence. When I was in college, I was always flattered to tag along with the cool group of guys. They were never alone, but all together—they were really cool. After school, I started to notice that each one singly didn't have much to offer. They almost lost their identities completely when they were away from the pack. A woman likes a man who can stand on his own two feet, someone who knows who he is. Not everyone is going to have a Type A personality, but a man who is still hiding behind his friends—or his mother—is not attractive. I've noticed men often accuse women of only being attracted to wealthy men and I have no doubt that there are gold diggers out there. However, what most women are looking for is a man who is capable of supporting himself—and his wife and children. It should raise a red flag if a man complains about not being able to make ends meet, but does nothing to change his situation.

Passion. A woman will respect a man who has strong feelings about something—health, exercise, sports, cars—anything. Nothing is more boring than trying to converse with a person who has no interests. I've been in conversations with plenty of very nice people and thought, "Imagine doing this for the rest of my life!" I don't expect everyone to run out and get a hobby, but maybe assess your life and think of something you'd like to learn more about or explore. Try to keep up on current events or study some facet of history. You can only gain a better sense of yourself by trying to develop interests outside yourself. G.K. Chesterton was completely correct in saying, "There are no uninteresting things, only uninterested people."

Humor. Not everyone is funny. I understand this. I'm not talking about someone who's great at telling jokes (I have hilarious little nephews for that). By humor, I mean someone who doesn't take himself too seriously and can admit when he's wrong. When I think of my favorite cool guys in movies—Harrison Ford, Tom Selleck, Cary Grant, Mel Gibson, Steve McQueen—these are men who can laugh at themselves. Can you imagine Indiana Jones being uptight and incapable of smiling? We should always keep ourselves in perspective—in the whole scheme of things, we're not that important. Laugh!

Confidence. A woman wants a man who is so sure of who he is, that he is aware of others. He is sure of his abilities, he works hard, he treats his wife well, and he can discipline his children because he loves them. He has the confidence to ask a woman out, and either take command of the situation or realize that she might want to make some decisions. And he's okay with that. Someone who is confident has a healthy self-esteem, because he strives to be the best version of himself.

Although the original article was targeted at things women look for in a spouse, I think everyone can gain a lot by truly looking at themselves and asking, "Do I treat others with humility? Do I admit when I'm wrong? Am I always working on communicating effectively? Do I act selfishly? Am I willing to give up some of myself in order to make a good match?"

Ladies, what else would you put on the list? Guys, now it is your turn. Leave me a comment below and let me know the things you are looking for in a spouse.