In our age flooded with advice about dating and marriage from a secular perspective, it can be hard to find works that address dating and marriage in a way that’s faithful to Catholic teaching.
Reading about romance and marriage from writers with Catholic principles–or at least, principles that don’t contradict Catholic faith–can be an excellent way to prepare for dating and marriage, deepen a relationship, and ultimately improve your chances of having a happy and holy romantic relationship.
To that end, here are five great books about dating and marriage from a Catholic (or at least Catholic-friendly) point of view.
- Three to Get Married by Bl. Fulton Sheen
An absolute classic, this insightful book by the much beloved speaker and writer Archbishop Fulton Sheen helps readers ground their understanding firmly in Catholic teaching and the understanding that a successful marriage must begin with and aim for God. With an excellent understanding of human psychology, spirituality, and the teaching of the Church, the good Archbishop teaches couples how to love each other in and for God, thus ensuring that their relationship is the happiest and holiest it can be. His wise yet practical approach helps couples to avoid both false idealism on the one hand and discouragement and skepticism on the other. Sheen shows how, by centering their marriage on God, “the dream of the bride and groom for eternal happiness really comes true, not in themselves alone, but through themselves. Now they love each other not as they dreamed they would, but as God dreamed they would. Such a reconciliation of the tension is possible only to those who know that it takes three to make love.”
- Casti Connubii by Pope Pius XI
This encyclical is a classic work on marriage from the papal magisterium of Pope Pius XI. In it, the pope clearly lays out the principles of marriage according to Catholic doctrine. The pope explains the sanctity of marriage and its power as a sacrament and source of grace. He reiterates the church’s rejection of adultery, abortion, divorce, eugenics, and artificial contraception. While reaffirming the procreative purpose of the conjugal act, Pius XI also acknowledges the legitimate unitive aspect of marital sex, even when conception is not possible. He upholds the sacredness and dignity of this potentially life-giving act. This relatively short work helps provide a clear understanding of the nature and purposes of marriage, and what is and is not moral in connection to it, according to perennial Catholic teaching.
- Bold Union: Preparing for Marriage with Karl and Zita by The Emperor Karl League of Prayer
This beautiful little booklet guides engaged couples through a series of readings, prayers, and reflections in preparation for marriage, based on the model of Blessed Karl of Austria and his wife, Zita (whom I’ve written about before). This saintly couple loved each other deeply and passionately, yet their love for each other coalesced into love for God. They had an extraordinarily happy marriage and family life, despite intense trials and sufferings. And, ultimately, they became saints through the vocation of marriage. This booklet teaches important lessons about Catholic marriage through the example of Karl and Zita. With beautiful illustrations, anecdotes from Karl and Zita’s life together, daily reflections and prayers, the book guides couples through a week of marriage preparation, perfect for a brief retreat during engagement.
- The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse by Art & Laraine Bennett
Drawing from traditional Catholic wisdom on psychology and human temperaments, marriage and family therapists Art & Laraine Bennett explain how to understand both yourself and your spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend better. The book is a blend of Catholic thought on character and temperament that reaches back to the middle ages combined with modern psychology and a highly readable style. After exploring the four basic types of temperaments, the book then explains how to make a marriage work smoothly with each temperament combination. It’s stuffed with practical tips, like the strengths and weaknesses of each temperament, what motivates them, and how best to communicate with them.
- For Men Only and For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Jeff Feldhahn
In a similar vein to the prior title on this list, the companion books For Men Only and For Women Only are written to help spouses or romantic partners better understand one another and have a better relationship with one another. While these books don’t examine individual temperament types, they do look at general traits of men and women that the opposite gender may not realize or may find puzzling. The books are written by relationship experts and are based on extensive research, including interviews with thousands of men and women, to unveil aspects of masculine and feminine nature that the opposite gender might not know about. Topics include how men and women communicate differently, what their needs are in a relationship, and how they express emotions differently. It’s an extremely helpful guide for any couple seeking a deeper understanding of their partner’s perspective.
This is just the beginning of the many excellent Catholic resources on dating, relationships, and marriage, but hopefully it provides you with enough material to get started.
Reading one of these works together can be a great way not only to deepen your faith and gain a better understanding of what marriage is all about, but also an opportunity to bond with your significant other.
