Why Isn't Anyone Messaging Me?

I've always had romantic ideas of how I would meet my spouse. Across a crowded room I caught the eye of a handsomely dressed guy. He would notice me in my fabulous dress and ask me for a dance. We would dance to the music of a live orchestra and talk all evening knowing that we were destined to be together ...

All my romantic daydreams about meeting The One are normally far-fetched, but for a long time I held onto the idea of meeting my spouse in an adventurous way. The idea of meeting someone on an online dating site seemed so ... boring. I wanted my prince to notice me, not just be picked out from a photo album.

So when I finally put a profile on CatholicMatch, I was reluctant to send messages to anyone.

But one night over a glass of wine with friends, we browsed CatholicMatch profiles looking at the potential matches from that week. My friends would click on pictures and say: "What about this guy? His profile description is really funny."

As I read the opening paragraphs of the profiles, I admit that I made quick decisions about whether I was going to message the guy or not. I was reluctant to send a message to a guy who didn't answer yes to all the Catholic faith questions, but I realized that this might be an opportunity to open a discussion about what I believe.

I was also reluctant to send a message to someone who had an old picture or didn't even have a picture. I know looks aren't everything, but for some reason it was important to me to see the face of the person that I was going to correspond with.

When I finally sent a few messages, I was eager to check back the next day to see my responses.

It was so discouraging to log in and see there were no messages in my inbox!

Rejection hurts, but being ignored for weeks (or rather months) leaves any of us feeling completely hopeless. I'm sure you've thought: why do I even bother with this whole online dating scene?

But when we actually stop to read through the online profiles and take the time to write honest responses, we realize that there are genuine Catholics who are looking for the same things that we are.

If we want someone to take a chance on us, why don't we give others the same courtesy?

If you are wondering why you aren't receiving messages, then maybe it is time to send some messages.

Here are some helpful tips to get you more responses.

1. Write brief messages. Sending a mini-novel to a potential love interest can be overwhelming for the person who opens it. 2-4 sentences is plenty.
2. Be specific. People can always tell when you are spamming a bunch of members with one copied and pasted message. You may think that sending as many messages as possible increases your odds, but that approach rarely works out and gets far less responses.
3. End on a question. Ask about something that you found interesting in their profile. This shows sincerity and encourages a response.
4. Keep it positive. The time to discuss flaws and failings will come, but for that first message it is best to keep it light and optimistic.
5. Update your profile! Almost everyone that you message is going to check out your profile before deciding whether or not to respond, so think of your profile as an attachment to your message. Make sure that your profile is complete and going to capture someone's interest!