We all know what to expect, as soon as the New Year begins...
Grocery stores, pharmacies, and advertisers unite to remind the world’s singles of their solitude. Bright red boxes of chocolates, pink champagne, and romantic cards are everywhere. Love songs blaring on the radio and restaurants are emphasizing their meals for two. It’s obvious the feast of St. Valentine is on the way.
It’s a hard season for singles. You’re full of new year’s resolutions and hopes for a better year to come, but right now all you can see are opportunities for couples to celebrate their love. What can you do? Offer babysitting services, go out for drinks with other single friends, or watch romcoms alone with a pint of ice cream? You’ve probably done all of those things, as well as just trying to ignore the month-long season that’s sprung up around St. Valentine’s day. There is a better way!
Get to know St. Valentine!
Despite his popular image as the sappiest saint in heaven, Valentine has a lot more to offer. As singles walk through this long-term celebration of romantic love, they can feel completely shut out from society and even the liturgical calendar. But over 40% of Americans are spending St. Valentine’s day alone, and St. Valentine sees you.
That’s comforting news if you’re feeling like the odd one out among a world of happy lovers, but how can singles celebrate St. Valentine? Is this little feast day off limits to those still waiting for love? Absolutely not!
St. Valentine is famous as the patron of lovers, and with good reason. During his life in the 3rd century AD, St. Valentine risked martyrdom to marry Catholic couples, breaking the regulations imposed by the emperor. He loves romance and is always thrilled to celebrate the joys of a happy, holy marriage with the spouses. It’s a delightfully Catholic tradition to go a little overboard to celebrate your lover on the feast of St. Valentine.
But Valentine isn’t just the patron of lovers, and his feast isn’t limited to those in relationships.
Despite his daring support of Christian romance, it wasn’t until the High Middle Ages that Valentine became associated primarily with love. Early devotions to Valentine focused on his now neglect patronages: epilepsy, plague, and uncertain times. As a martyr, Valentine is one of our many saints who can teach us to work though our fears and uncertainties.
Obviously, these patronages declined in popularity over the years and were overshadowed by his love of romance. But in the centuries directly following Valentine’s martyrdom, Catholics had a lot to worry about: the Roman Empire was an unstable and unfriendly place for Christians. Those Christians saw St. Valentine primarily as a martyr: he defied unjust laws and refused to accept the government's limitations on his ministry. During the political unrest and social upheavals following the fall of the Roman Empire, St. Valentine was one of saints Catholics turned to for help dealing with the uncertain world around them.
He’s also been consistently prayed to for help in finding a spouse! Today, we’re told Valentine is only interested in couples; but traditionally, St. Valentine was seen as a matchmaker. In fact, his shrines are still primarily visited by singles looking for a spouse. He understands deeply the uncertainty and loneliness that singles face.
He also understands how it feels to face the future with uncertainty. In his lifetime, Valentine not only counseled and married young Catholics in an age of persecutions, he also faced continual persecution himself and willingly entered into situations that could have, and finally did, result in his martyrdom.
St. Valentine is a saint for seasons of uncertainty.
You may not be risking martyrdom, but in a lot of ways, the life of today’s singles is full of uncertainties as well, and so many of them are related to questions about love and vocation. In some ways, daring St. Valentine is a more appropriate patron for singles in the process of finding a spouse than he is for married couples.
So start planning now! You can embrace Valentine as the patron of your own uncertainty. It may not involve as much of the culture-approved consumerism that currently surrounds this feast day, but it will be full of blessings and hope. This year, try to embrace St. Valentine as your patron as well. Spend the pre-Valentine’s day season praying a novena Valentine and getting to know him as a friend.
St. Valentine’s Novena
O glorious advocate and protector, St Valentine,
Look with pity upon our wants,
hear our prayers,
relieve by your intercession
the loneliness under which we labor,
teach us strength in our uncertainties,
and joy in our suffering.
Obtain for us, beloved patron, the divine blessing,
that we may be found worthy to join you
in praising the Almighty for all eternity:
through the merits of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen.
Valentine is a playful saint, and since you’re surrounded by champagne and chocolates, find a way to enjoy them. Offer the novena to St. Valentine for courage amid the uncertainties of life, and make an event of it. Each night, light a candle, pour yourself a glass of champagne, and pull a chocolate heart out of the box. Pray to St. Valentine, then toast your new patron, and celebrate your future. The world is full of uncertainties, but the poet Rilke reminds us that our longings “are memories coming from our futures,” so let yourself long for love and still celebrate the present.
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