Social Distancing: A Major Curveball for Those Dating

Yes, this is a very difficult time.

Is it just me or is it getting harder and harder to find ways to fill each day with productive work and activities during this time of social distancing? Of course, it is getting more difficult! All of us are feeling the frustration and anxiety that comes from social isolation.

Here's the most annoying reality; this situation is not going to go away quickly. We can hope that it will be over in one round of a 15 day isolation period, but that is probably not going to happen. The coronavirus is wickedly contagious. It just keeps marching across the country. Because it is going to linger, social distancing may be the new normal for months to come.

What does this mean for you and your dating desires? How in the world can you continue to meet people and (hopefully) develop a loving relationship when the possibility of talking across a couch or table is literally dangerous to your health and well-being?

I have a suggestion for you that may work. But, it requires that you look at this situation with an expanded focus.

Might you be interested?

In order to explain the suggestion, I need to share a story about watching a band of brothers who live in my neighborhood. They spend the better part of each day playing baseball outside in an empty lot next to our home. The two older brothers are trying to perfect their curveball pitching. The two younger brothers are the batters.

As I watch the boys play, the batters catch air on nearly every pitch. Often, the younger brothers rub their eyes and shake their heads after a curveball crosses the plate. From my vantage point, their gestures seem to signal that they just can't track the ball.

And, that's correct; their ability to see a breaking ball is reduced. You see, a curveball has a strong downward spin, causing the ball to drop suddenly and veer to the side as it approaches home plate. It's a devil to hit because its flight path is so difficult to see.

Why does a batter literally lose sight of the ball as it travels towards the plate?

Because his eyes have to shift from 'central' to 'peripheral' focus in order to see the ball's path. (Hang in there with me. There is a really neat point to be made from this information.)

At first, the batter has to use his central focus which allows him to see what is directly in front of him. Central focus is needed to see objects clearly and distinctly. But, when the ball begins to curve, the batter has to switch to peripheral focus.

This type of vision allows you to sense your surroundings; what is happening around you. It helps you determine your direction and heading so that you don't bump into things.

Just as the ball gets ready to cross the plate, the batter has to switch back to central focus in order to make contact. If his eyes can make the change, he will smash the ball out of the park. If not, he will fan out.

So what's the point of all this baseball lingo? The coronavirus has thrown your dating plans a curveball.

If you want to hit the ball out of the park during social distancing, you can't focus directly like you normally do.

You have to switch to your peripheral vision and pay attention to your surroundings. This is the best way to see progress in the development of a lasting relationship.

Here's my humble suggestion. Follow the below steps in order and take advantage of this chance to see the world more fully.

• Pray more intently and for longer stretches of time. Take advantage of sitting in silence and listening to God. Let your heart rest in His presence.
• Assess your heading and direction in life. Ensure that you are discerning and living a life pleasing to God rather than experiencing something that is easy and fun for you. Ask God to guide your choices each and every day.
• Reconsider connecting to individuals that you matched with but decided to push aside. Take a second look at each person with your peripheral focus. Give them a second look.
• Train yourself to rely on both your central and peripheral vision going forward. Challenge yourself to see that which is right in front of you as well as what exists in the corner of your eye. Improve your 360 view of individuals and the world.