Healing Hurting Marriages

"Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage. – God." This slogan from the well-known "God Calling" ads really underscores what is causing couples who want a lasting marriage so much trouble; they haven't invited God into their relationship. And as the slogan indicates, God is ready, waiting, and enthusiastic about being a part of the marriage and helping them succeed with many graces and blessings.

Struggles and challenges in marriage are the norm. They shouldn't be indicators of divorce, they should be indicative of opportunities that can help the couple grow together and reach a new level of love for each other. But sometimes the problems a couple faces are such that they do not know how to navigate those waters. Losing a child, severe and prolonged financial crisis, infidelity, and a breakdown in communication are some of the struggles marriages face that can bring a couple to the breaking point. Fortunately, there is a wonderful organization called Retrouvaille that has a proven track record of helping couples repair their relationships and rekindle their love, and they are ready to help any couple who needs it.

Their website, Retrouvaille.org, explains "The word Retrouvaille (pronounced re-tro-vi with a long i.) is a French word meaning rediscovery." There are many resources a couple can take advantage of on the website, but their primary offering is a program that offers tools needed to rediscover a loving marriage relationship, citing "Thousands of couples headed for cold, unloving relationships or divorce have successfully overcome their marriage problems by attending the program." I even heard from one of the Retrouvaille facilitators several years ago that it's not unheard of for couples who have already been divorced to attend the program and get back together. This is a fantastic resource for spouses in troubled marriages to take advantage of.

Having coached many people over the years to help them heal from their divorces, I've often heard the complaint they had no idea their spouses were so unhappy until they left. "I would have changed if I had known" or "I wish I had been given the chance to change" are common remarks and I believe people should have the opportunity to change instead of being abandoned for someone different. The Retrouvaille program offers couples this kind of second chance.

Gary and Debbie present their testimony on the website:

We always thought our marriage was made in heaven, and we seemed to protect that by avoiding the sharing of any negative feelings. After 10 years together, the changes away from each other were so slow that we didn't even recognize that it was happening.

One year and three counselors later, we found a weekend experience which had people who understood. We were given our privacy to work with a tool that taught us how to communicate once again.

Now, nine years later, our relationship is stronger than ever. We learned to share our feelings and needs. We rediscovered each other, developed a new relationship with God, and if it wasn't forRetrouvaille, we wouldn't have our family which now has three children.

We've learned that almost all relationships can survive a crisis, no matter what it is, as long as both spouses want the relationship to work, and both spouses are willing to change.

We survived!

This is important news for anyone who is struggling in their marriages and vital information for others to share. The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops promotes Retrouvaille as a great way for couples headed for divorced to save their marriage through their participation in the program, which begins as a weekend retreat for the couple.

RomeReports.com offers this brief, but informative video on the Retrouvaille program, highlighting a couple who has attended it and saved their marriage:

If you are struggling in your marriage, or know someone who is, I invite you to take advantage of this important resource that can make all the difference in the life of a family, and the life of our society.