Marriage Is the Key to a Happy Life

Do you want to be happy?

Then you need to get married.

When you're married, you never feel alone. Ever. You always have someone by your side who understands what you need. If you need space, your spouse knows that right away, stops talking to you, and doesn't ask you for anything. If you're bored, your spouse understands immediately and works to entertain you with exciting conversation about things you love.

When you're married, you are never disappointed and you never feel let down by your spouse. You automatically have an amazing and completely fulfilling sex life. And you don't have to worry about making new friends, because you have the best friend you'll ever have!

This is all because marriage is a special sacrament which transforms your spouse into someone superhuman—someone who completes you, understands you fully, and would never hurt you, even accidentally.

When you're married you have a lot of time to pursue your hobbies, dreams, and desires. Your spouse will never weigh you down by needing your help or support. And you would never dream of weighing your spouse down by asking for help or support for yourself. That would be draining. Because marriage is about YOU pursuing YOUR goals while having a fun companion to talk to and hang out with when you need a break from YOUR work and dreams.

If you're married, and you're still not happy sometimes...then you're doing something wrong.

Because marriage WILL solve your problems and help you be happy forever.

Ok...so that's all not true.

But it makes you think, right?

Are you holding onto the hope that once you get married you'll finally be happy and content?

If so, it is time to let go of that expectation.

Now, that is not to say that marriage is bad or unfulfilling. Marriage can be a beautiful, joy-filled adventure (and it is something many of us are called to). But it takes constant work to live that experience. It is good, sanctifying, and satisfying work for sure...but it is work, hard work, also.

Here's the thing. It is really important to check our expectations every so often.

The grass is always greener

Because once we're married, we can still fall into the "I'll be happy when..." trap. We might start praying, God, thank you so much for my spouse. But could you please send me a baby? I know I'll be happy if I can just see our love bear fruit through a child. Or God, thanks so much for the spouse and the kid, but I would just be so happy if I could get a better job so we can live more comfortably. Or God, thanks so much for the better job, the husband and the kid, but if I could just make some more good friends, I will be happy.

We need to learn to be happy right now. If we are always waiting to be happier...if we just had a car that worked, or a nicer apartment, or a better dishwasher, or a thinner body, or whatever it is we currently desire...we will spend the rest of our lives waiting unhappily for the next thing.

That sounds nice in theory

But learning to be happy in the here and now is MUCH easier said than done. How do we start? The good news is that by just being aware of what we are hoping will make us happy, we are on the right path! So, let's make it official. Write it down.

STEP ONE: Get out a physical piece of paper and a pen and use your third grade handwriting skills to spell out just what it is that you think will make you happy. Be honest. What are you waiting for to make your life complete?

STEP TWO: Once you have that written down, grab another piece of paper. On that paper, write down all the good things you have going for you in life right now. All the things you have to be thankful for.  Now say a quick prayer, giving God all of these desires and thanking him for all of these blessings, and put that first paper somewhere out of sight where you might stumble upon it a few years down the road (I put mine in a copy of a book called Mulliner Nights. I love that book but I know I won't re-read it for a while).

Now put that other page somewhere you'll find it much more often. (I taped mine to the cover of my laptop).

It's a good first step to finding contentment to start focusing on the here and now, instead of dreaming about the future.

Join me!