What Does The Bible Say About Sex Before Marriage: Is Premarital Sex A Sin?
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I think it’s safe to say that the topic of sex and all it implies is at the forefront of our minds when it comes to dating and relationships—how could it not be? Our sexuality is a God-given gift and a natural and necessary part of the marriage covenant.
But what if you’re not married? How do we make sense of this natural desire before someone puts a ring on it and we’ve stood on the altar and exchanged our marriage vows? Young people and old people alike will struggle with chastity throughout their single and dating years. With today’s culture being attuned to relativism and ‘my truth,’ I think going back to the basics and having some clarity on what the Bible says about sex, and particularly sex before marriage, is necessary.
Is Sex Before Marriage a Sin?
Is it a sin to have sex before marriage? Before we can answer that question, we need to look at what sex was created for. Is it a sin to have sex? My parish priest growing up had such courage in speaking about this topic, and I quote him here: “Sex is sacred.”
Because sex is sacred, it needs to take place in the context of Holy Matrimony with your own husband or own wife. So, in short, yes, it will always be sinful sex unless the two of you are married.
When and Why Is Sex Before Marriage a Sin?
Is premarital sex a sin? Short answer, yes (ouch, I know that’s not the answer many are looking for!). But I’ll ask you this—do you actually understand the reason why the Bible asks us to save sex for marriage? I can tell you this much—it’s not to shame us if we have a past we’re not so proud of, it’s not to interject itself in an unhelpful way in our daily lives, it’s not to make us miserable, and it’s not a ‘test’ to see how much we actually love God. It is, in fact, for us, not against or opposed to us.
Sex with anyone other than your spouse will always be sinful. This is because the Catholic Church is very clear that the only context in which sex isn't sinful, is when it takes place within a marriage.
What Does the Bible Say About Sex Before Marriage?
Of course, we can always look at the Ten Commandments and easily discover that sexual intercourse outside of marriage is wrong (hello, 6th commandment!) But, there are plenty of other places in the Bible where it is clear that we are called to save sex for marriage. We see what the Bible says about premarital sex very early on in Genesis 1 and 2. In fact, one of the first references the Bible makes about sex itself is found in the second chapter (so you don't need to go very far to find it)! See this article for more about what does the Bible say about dating.
Sex Before Marriage in the Bible: 6 Bible Verses About Sex Before Marriage
You may be wondering, "where in the Bible does it say not to have sex before marriage"? The answer is...plenty of places. You just need to know where to look! There are actually many pieces of scripture in the Bible that tackle the issue of premarital sex.
Genesis 2:24
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and cling to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
What This Tells Us About Sex Before Marriage
In other words, sex was not only meant but created for marriage. The proper context for the sexual act, to ‘cling’ to another, is within the sacrament of marriage. It’s only within the sacrament that sex can be completely free, fruitful in being open to life, faithful in a lifelong commitment, and full, or total—I give myself to you completely and wholly, with no reservations.
Our bodies speak a language: the physical act of sex is the incarnation of the vows you make on your wedding day—physically bonding and uniting you together so that the two become one flesh. Is sex a sin? Within the context of marriage, absolutely not! Within marriage, sex is a gift, it is to be reverenced, and it is sacred.
1 Corinthians 6: 19-20
St. Paul writes – “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body.”
What This Tells Us About Sex Before Marriage
In layman’s terms, our bodies matter. What we do with them, matters. The Bible takes such a firm stance on sex before marriage because it upholds the sacredness of sex, and reverences the ones partaking in it (hint: that’s us!). In other words, our bodies are a big deal! And how we act with them needs to be treated like a big deal. When we engage in sex outside of marriage, we are using our sacred bodies in a way that God didn’t design or intend.
1 Corinthians 6:18
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”
What This Tells Us About Sex Before Marriage
Let’s face it, the above direction is difficult to live out. Flee from sexual immorality?! That’s hard! Sex is pleasurable, sex can be fun, and it definitely feels good. Even more so, sex can be within the context of a loving relationship. Is sex before marriage a sin if you love the person? What if you intend to marry them, or your wedding is only months away? While love is a necessary component to sex, love in and of itself, is not sufficient. Let’s look at what the Word of God in the Bible says about premarital sex.
Hebrews 13:4
“Let marriage be honored among all and the marriage bed be kept undefiled, for God will judge the immoral and adulterers."
What This Scripture On Sex Before Marriage Tells Us
I know that sometimes I can be tempted to look at God through the relativistic lens the culture provides for us, and the above Bible verse might sound harsh. But what if we looked at it differently? Rather than viewing the scripture on sex before marriage as harsh, what if we take it as clarity? I don’t know that the Bible can be much more clear, and clarity is always a gift. While this may point us in a different direction than we want to go in the moment, it is done out of love for us, similar to a parent digging in their heels on looking both ways before a child crosses the street or buckling up before driving—it has our true good in mind.
Colossians 3:5
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desire, and greed, which is idolatry”
What This Tells Us About Sex Before Marriage
Sex before marriage is included in the Biblical definition of sexual immorality under the term fornication, which is voluntary sex between two unmarried persons. Again, this can be seen as pretty intense stuff. However, I think it’s good that perhaps we’re shaken by this! We live in a comfortable world that likes to justify doing what we want, when we want, and how we want. But scripture is telling us that there actually is a right and a wrong way, and implores us to take the road less traveled for our own sakes. Is it a sin to have sex before marriage? Yes! Is fornication a sin? Yes! What does the Bible say about premarital sex? It tells us that it falls under the umbrella of sexual impurity, and that it will keep us away from Christ. While this may sound extreme, it’s actually true! God can and will forgive any past sins we have made in regards to sexuality, and he is calling us to conform our lives to his teachings and live full lives in his truth.
What did Jesus Say About Premarital Sex?
Jesus doesn't mince words when he talks about the egregious nature of sexual sin. He tells us in the Gospel of Matthew that it would be better for us to tear our own eyes rather than commit such a sin.
Matthew 5: 27-29
"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into Gehenna."
What This Tells Us About Premarital Sex
Think about it, if Jesus Christ tells us we'd be better off destroying our own limbs and eyes over committing such a sin...that is probably something we should avoid! While this passage may seem disturbing, remember, that no sin is worth losing eternal life in the Kingdom of God over, no matter how tempting it may be.
Is There Any Scripture That Says Sex Before Marriage is Not a Sin?
No. In fact, there is just the opposite and there are many pieces of scripture in both the new testament and the old testament that make it quite clear that any sexual activity or sexual relations outside of marriage are sinful.
Is Premarital Sex a Sin? Our Conclusion:
What the Bible says about premarital sex should serve as a reminder to us all. I think most people wondering whether sex before marriage is a sin or not have an innate hunch to the answer. While this article references multiple Bible verses on the topic, it barely skims the complete wisdom via Bible verses about sex before marriage.
If you have found yourself becoming defensive or angry as you read this, you’re not the only one. In response, I encourage all of us to truly reflect upon the why, before jumping to fight the Bible’s answer on the question of sex before marriage. Sex was meant for marriage, and God will give you the grace to live a life faithful to that if you continually turn to Him in true humility and ask.
Contrary to what the world will tell you, Christianity isn't about living your life the way you want to all the time, it's about doing the right thing, even when it's hard. Sexual purity isn't always easy, but it's crucial to keep in mind that sex is a gift, sex is sacred, and sex is created for marriage. So, waiting until marriage is the right choice.
If you find yourself struggling with this, pray to St. Joseph, as he is a saint who lived with great chastity! Consider starting a devotional or novena to him with the intention of living a chaste life.
Lastly, there are many other chapters in the Bible worth exploring that also cover the issues of living a pure life and avoiding sexual sin. For more, consider Romans, Deuteronomy, Thessalonians, Exodus, and Ephesians.
FAQs on Premarital Sex and the Bible
Is Sex Before Marriage a Sin if You Love the Person?
Premarital sex is always sinful. Keep in mind, if you love someone, you should have their best interest at heart and this includes keeping them from sinning! For the sake of your soul (and the soul of your loved one) avoid premarital sex and choose to with self-control!
Is Sex a Sin in General, or Just Out of Wedlock?
As Christians, we believe marital sex is a gift from God (see the Song of Solomon for proof!) and isn't sinful. When sex is mistreated and takes place outside of marriage (or in sinful ways inside of marriage such as with contraception to avoid procreation) then we distort it!
Can Catholics Have Sex Before Marriage Under Any Circumstance?
You are probably hoping that there is some sort of obscure loophole that would allow Catholics to partake in premarital sex and remain sin-free, however, no such loophole exists! Catholics have a duty to follow the teaching of the Church in all matters, include sex, even when they are difficult!
Can You Still Marry After Fornication?
We are all human and make mistakes. If you lived unchastely in your past, there is always redemption for you! Embrace God's forgiveness through the sacrament of Reconciliation and resolve to live chastely. Even if you have a history of sexual sins, you are free to marry in the Church.
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