Dates Every Older Single Needs to Go On

When I think of “dating,” I recall my high school days of nervously calling a high school classmate to see if she would like to go to dinner and a movie. I cleaned my car, groomed my hair, and splashed on some cologne, hoping it wasn’t too much but just enough to make me Mr. Irresistible. Finally, I made sure to cut the price tag off my new pants. 

Have things changed now that I am a senior citizen? Oh Lord, I hope so.

What is the purpose of dating? No matter the age, dating allows a couple to get to know one another, interact in various situations, determine compatibility, and, frankly, see if there is a romantic attraction.

But first and foremost, it is about getting to know one another.

You meet someone on CatholicMatch. Their profile is intriguing. You have emailed back and forth, maybe already talked on the phone. It’s time to meet. I usually invited my online acquaintances to meet at a public place as a sort of pre-date. Ok, maybe it was just to ensure her online picture matched her present-day reality.

But chatting over a glass of iced tea at McDonald’s or Chick-fil-A is a relaxed way to break the ice. Most times, this initial face-to-face contact lasted 45-60 minutes. When I first met my future wife-to-be, we chatted at McDonald’s for two hours! I recall leaving and telling myself—I am going to date this lady!

Remember the goal—get to know each other.

While dinner and a movie may be the fallback choice for early dates, the only value of watching a movie is to provide insight into the person’s taste for entertainment. Ladies, if that guy you met online takes you to see Fifty Shades of Grey on your first date (or any date for that matter), excuse yourself to go to the restroom, call an Uber and RUN!

So, on what kind of dates should every mature (that’s a politically correct way of saying OLD) single consider going? 

Here are a few thoughts:

Botanical Gardens

Guys, this does not invalidate your man-card. Walking through a botanical garden can be a relaxing, enjoyable, and fragrant way to spend an afternoon. You might even learn something about plants as well as your date.

Picnic at Local Parks

I recall taking a date to the Laser Show at Stone Mountain Park (in metro Atlanta). It was a fascinating, entertaining evening. We enjoyed great conversation as thousands gathered on the lawn for the amazing light show projected upon the face of this massive dome-shaped granite monadnock.

Visit a Local Monastery

Early in our dating experience, I invited the woman who was to be my future bride to join me for a tour of the Monastery of the Holy Spirit, a Trappist Monastery located in my then hometown of Conyers, Georgia. We spent several hours touring the grounds and browsing their garden shop and bookstore. Their biscotti, we soon realized, is delicious, unique, and addictive. Months later, when I proposed, she confessed that this day-long visit sparked her romantic interest in me.

Family Events

Ok, maybe meeting the family should wait until you have had a few dates under the belt. But what better way to see how your date interacts with family than to have her join you for a grandchild’s birthday party or a Labor Day cookout.

Do a Class Together

You are enjoying this new relationship and want to find ways to grow closer. Consider taking a class together—cooking class, painting class, dance lessons—there are a multitude of options. Guys, don’t laugh. Dancing may not be your thing, but how better to spend an hour than to have a lovely lady in your arms while you sashay across a dance floor. I’m just saying…

Sporting Events

Sound like a no-brainer? You may be surprised at what you learn. I am a Southern man, which translates into a passion for football. When my future wife and I first watched a football game together, she informed me that her favorite football team was Manchester United. Say what? She did not understand the difference between a touchdown and a first down.

Was this a showstopper? Should this American football fan kick this soccer-loving lady out the door? On the contrary, the difference in our sporting affections served as an opportunity to bond over new ideas. I explained American football to her, and she graciously ignored my uncouth comments on round ball games.

Antiquing

One of the things that came up during online discussions with my future bride was how each of us enjoyed going to flea markets and antique shops. We both enjoyed looking for those unique things we could not live without. Other items might spark a memory or story to share. Spending an afternoon walking through antique shops and even the occasional flea market is a relaxed and (usually) inexpensive way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

Volunteer

Many seniors find meaning and purpose in volunteering. Consider inviting your date to join you in serving at the Food Bank, reading to kids at the local library, working the community garden, coordinating a bingo game at the local nursing home, or helping you deliver Meals on Wheels to those more elderly than you! You can learn a lot about a person by how they handle such situations.

New Cuisine

Taking a date out for dinner may not sound creative, but consider experiencing new cuisines—think Japanese steakhouse, Mediterranean cafe, or Thai. Consider enjoying a meal at a classic local restaurant. Mary Mac’s Tea Room has been a culinary landmark in Atlanta for over 75 years. Introducing fried green tomatoes to my European-bred date was worth the trip. Even though she ate her fried chicken with a fork, I married her anyway.

Go to Church

Visit each other’s parishes and join in each other’s ministries. Attend Mass together and enjoy a meal afterward to discuss the readings for the day or the pastor’s homily. Such efforts help you discern the compassionate spirit and spiritual side of your date. Regardless of what the future may hold for you both, purpose to encourage one another in your faith walk.

Attend a Lecture or Speaker’s Event

One of the first dates I took my wife-to-be was a Scott Hahn talk. Listening to this renowned Catholic apologist proved to be inspiring personally and prompted substantive conversations during the ride home afterward.

Carriage Rides

Don’t underestimate the power of joint “rides” available in your community or nearby historic centers. A carriage ride is always a romantic adventure. Ferris wheels serve the same purpose, assuming neither of you are afraid of heights.

Surprise Trips to “I Always Wanted To” Places

During your conversations, listen out for those Bucket List items, even if they may be simple hopes and dreams. The Varsity is an iconic restaurant in Atlanta that bills itself as the world’s largest drive-in. My date had heard about the “V” but had never eaten there. The Varsity is woven throughout my memories of life in Atlanta, so I made sure that her visit to ATL included a luncheon stop at this North Avenue culinary landmark.

It was delightful to see her order a Yellow Dog (Naked dog with mustard), Strings (French fries), and a PC (Plain chocolate milk served over crushed ice.) We still talk about that visit. Making memories does not have to be expensive.

Seniors! Take advantage of your experience.

Just because you have been there, done that, doesn’t mean you can’t do it again. Well, mountain hikes may not be an option if you possess less than functional knees, but you have a wealth of memorable experiences to call upon for creative and relaxing ways to get to know one another. The options are endless.

Just remember to take it easy on the cologne.