From One Convert to Another: Discerning Your Vocation

Have you fully discerned your vocation?

I once heard a priest say that to truly discern your vocation, you have to love all options first. And once you have a true love for them all, then you can be honestly open to choosing one.

I think it’s a great rule to go by. I think if you are aware of all your options—married life, religious life, or single life—it’s the advice to take. 

Learn to love all three. And then begin to ask yourself where the Lord is calling you. Because if you have distaste for one of the callings, perhaps from others and not from your own experience, well then how can you be truly free to saying yes or no to it?

When I was going through marriage prep with my husband, I knew I was set on fulfilling my vocation as a wife. A calling to the single life or to religious life wasn’t ever present for me because, frankly, it was never mentioned as an option. Hello: not growing up within the faith and finding it in your 20s! But when it was mentioned in a marriage prep session, I did feel pressure... “gosh, I never even thought about those. Should I??”

This all might have been (as in definitely is) because I became Catholic only a year before getting married, and wasn’t raised in the faith, exposed to such life choices, or invited to consider it.

I truly never thought about it until I was engaged.

Maybe you are in the same boat I was in. Maybe you weren’t invited to think about other vocations until you were asked about how you came to fall in love with this one. 

To you, in this position or one like it, I will say this: you just have to be honest with ONE person. Just one. You don’t have to dive in to all the thoughts on all the things to your friend—who may or may not understand. You don’t have to be completely transparent with your mom or a trusted aunt. You don’t even have to be honest on social media or to your siblings. 

Just focus on being honest about it all—the feelings, the thoughts, the fears, the back and forth, the pros and cons… everything—to one person.

And that person is Jesus Christ. 

Ultimately, He set your heart in a way that only His plan will meet perfectly. And ultimately, He will show that to you. 

Would it be the perfect Catholic Vocation Story if you took the time to discern all the choices and came to your conclusion by way of prayer and peace and perfect timing? Yes! But are you a failure if you don’t have that story? NO.

One truth to forget so easily but is so necessary of a reminder: God will not let you miss out on your own future. 

To some it looked like I skipped proper steps of discernment for other vocations.

To others it looked like I went too quickly into the vocation of marriage. What those people don’t realize is that I had peace as I went through the vows of my vocation and for that reason, I am confident I made the right choice with the help of God’s grace. And it all turned out great. 

If there is anyone to trust with all your thoughts that don’t make sense together but have all their own merit… it’s Jesus Christ.

If there is anyone to take a chance on in being so honest… it’s Jesus Christ. 

If there is anyone who won’t judge you or condemn you for where you are and how you’re handling it… it’s Jesus Christ.

The world may tell you you’re over thinking it. People may tell you “you’re going to lose so much if you pick this vocation over that vocation.” You could get some judgment for considering consecrated life, especially it today’s culture. 

But that’s all coming from the world. Not from Christ. 

When I sat in the chapel after our first marriage prep meeting where discerning out of other vocations and into the vocation of marriage was brought up, it was all I could do to unveil it all in front of Christ. 

“I never thought about it.” “Have I skipped some important step in pursuing marriage?” “Should I consider religious life then if I haven’t seriously considered it yet?”

And do you know what happened? My honesty was met with deep honesty. 

“My daughter… you are exactly where you need to be.” And that was that.