Are You Who You Say You Are?

I often hear women say, “I want someone I can go to Mass with" or "I want someone that I can pray with.” I gather from these comments, that women want a man that walks with God, and has God as the center of his life.

I know from my own experience that it’s easy for a man to simply say he believes in God, and that he prays regularly. But when you actually see someone living out his faith it speaks volume, and words are rarely needed. Like the saying goes, actions speak louder than words.

I pretended to be a good Catholic

I once was that guy who pretended to be a man of God. Before I became a practicing Catholic, I met a girl named Jessica. The first thing she asked me was “Do you go to church?”

I replied naturally, “Yes, I go every Sunday.” Although I knew at that time in my life, I wasn’t practicing my faith, and I didn’t have a true relationship with God. I was just pretending that I was this man of God, because I knew that’s what she was looking for. I was telling her what I thought she wanted to hear.

If she asked me “What do you like about church?” I would say “the music.” Or if she asked, “What type of prayer do you prefer?” I would give her some generic answer like, “I like all forms of prayer" or "I just like praying for other people rather than myself.”

My answers were vague and made up. Eventually I got the sense that she knew I wasn’t what I painted myself to be, and our communication quickly came to a stop.

This experience helped me to become more genuine with the women I meet. I realized that I needed to be more honest, and I came to discover that people often find out down the line when what you say does not match up with how you act.

What my deacons taught me

It took me a number of years and life lessons to finally become a man of God. It involved a lot of scripture reading, fellowship, and sacrifices.

What really helped me the most was being around a number of deacons who unintentionally became my role models. I would watch them and notice how respectful they were to everybody they met. And what attracted me most to these men was how they interacted with their wives.

I watched the deacons link arms with their wives and introduce their wives to everyone. The couples seemed so genuinely happy.  These deacons, and their wives, all had that light of Christ that drew people to them. One of the deacons was Deacon Abel.  He is a great example of a godly man. He treated everyone who approached him with dignity and respect. His stories about his family, and watching him joyfully interact with his family, really touched me.

God showed me through these deacons, what a godly man should be. By their examples, I learned to own my faith. Instead of just talking about my faith now, I try to live it.

Take action

I have learned to not be passive when it comes to dating and my faith. Instead we men must take initiative. We need to invite a woman we are interested in to Mass or adoration. We should pray with her when she is troubled. We cannot be cowards in our faith, but should embrace it fully.

Before taking someone out to dinner, why not be spontaneous, stop by a nearby church, and go inside and pray with her? Don’t wait for her to invite you to Mass, plan for it in one of your outings.

Men, we must take the lead when it comes to sharing our faith.

Who are you?

When we walk with God, and let him guide us we acquire some of Jesus' attributes; we become confident in who we are, we're honest with those around us, and are selfless in giving our time to help others. These are all characteristics that women find attractive.

When following God, our goodness becomes natural, rather than an act. Then, whether or not we have the right words, our actions will speak for us.

Gentlemen, let the light of Christ guide you. And by doing so, women will be attracted to the Christ that is in you.