After a Breakup, God Will Give Us New Dreams

We all have dreams for our life.

We pursue them and hope they will come true. But as anybody who’s lived long enough knows, we sometimes see our dreams crash against reality. Some dreams come true, but many do not.

After the collision, we sit in the ashes of our shattered dreams and feel disillusioned. Why didn’t things work out? 

Maybe we tried to live a good life and be good Christians and expected God to reward our faithfulness or good intentions. 

When our dreams don’t work out, we wonder where God was. 

Does He not exist, or did He just not listen to us? Does He not care? Why did we have to suffer like this?

Maybe it’s a failed relationship. Or a career goal never realized. Maybe it’s the death of a loved one we always expected to be around. 

A decade ago, I was married. We had our issues, but we were trying. We tried to have children but had miscarriages instead. Our marriage collapsed. I had always sworn I’d never get divorced like so many others I knew. But it happened. 

Often, I didn’t even have the strength to ask “Why?”

Most days, I just tried to wake up and get through the next hour without crying.

I picked up and moved on. Over the next few years, I started meeting new people. Making new acquaintances. They became dear friends. Many had been through a divorce, like me, and we connected on a deep level. We went to church together, went out for drinks and saw movies, laughed, and shared our feelings in a way that enriched our souls. 

I never would have known these people if my original plan for my life had panned out. They became part of a new chapter that was being written in my life, a chapter I never would have included in my original vision for the story of my life.

We would all love to have a crystal ball to see what will happen in the future. 

How will our lives work out? But for whatever reason, God does not allow us that. He knows, but we don’t. The best we can do is wake up each day and keep pushing forward, not knowing what to expect. That is an uncomfortable place to be: not knowing. But that’s where we all live every day, whether we are single or married or just trying to pick up the pieces of life’s disappointments and make the most out of what we have. 

But here’s the thing I learned and experienced… 

While we are struggling in the unknown, God is at work. 

God is working in ways we can’t understand or imagine. He loves us and rejoices over us and wants us to be happy. How can that be? It seems like a joke when we are suffering. 

How could God be good and want the best for us? If He truly did, then wouldn’t we have been successful the first time around? Wouldn’t He have given us the original desires of our heart?

I don’t have the answer to “why” things don’t always work out like we originally hoped.

What I have come to realize is that, when we seek God and His will, despite our failures and disappointments, He can bring us to a new reality we never imagined.

Ten years after my divorce, I am remarried to a person whom I realize every day is good for me. And, having learned from my past mistakes, I try to be good for her. It’s not the life I originally envisioned. Somehow, it’s better. And I could not have planned it.

If I had my way, my life would have looked different. But as God gives me eyes to see, I realize it looks better than my original vision. This new life is not perfect. There will always be struggles and trials and challenges. But Jesus said: “In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world” (John 16:33).

If Jesus has conquered the world, He can also overcome the dreams we once had and give us new ones. 

And He tells us to be cheerful. So be of good cheer. 

Don’t despair about your failed dreams. Dreams you never could have dreamed may be waiting up ahead. When we surrender our pain and our lives and our future to God, we may just experience a new vision of life that’s even better than what we first hoped for. Yes, there will always be struggles and pain, but there can be hope and joy and happiness too. If your first dreams failed, be open to new ones. 

If life had worked out as we planned, a lot of beautiful things would never have happened. It’s okay to be sad about what didn’t work out. It’s also okay to rejoice about what has, and what awaits.